


the gayvengers assemble

by DankMemes_BrokenDreams



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, First Avengers Fic, Highschool AU, JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, They all have issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, endgame ruined me, its probably ooc, marvel please, so this is my revenge, theyre all sleep deprived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DankMemes_BrokenDreams/pseuds/DankMemes_BrokenDreams
Summary: Peter Parker creates a group chat to try and get along with his classmatesit goes as well as you would expect





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT so this is my first avengers fanfic ever so I'm super sorry if everyones OOC  
> I try my best but I still have no clue on how to write these characters, so if you have any suggests let me know in the comments!  
> also this is my endgame revenge fic so if you were destroyed like I was read this  
> ye thanks for clicking hope yall enjoy

Text message   
3:45 am

Peter Parker has added Tony Stark, Thor Odinson, and 9 others

Peter Parker: group chat test number 1! 

Shuri: how did you take down Captain America

Peter Quill: we shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate

Loki Odinson: and he is an idiot

Steve Rogers: OK WOW

Bruce Banner: it took three minutes 

Bruce Banner: three minutes 

Bruce Banner: for the group to become a meme

Tony Stark: why am I here

Tony Stark: why did you add me

Peter Parker: you are my dad

Peter Parker: you're my dad

Peter Parker: bogie wogie wogie

Tony Stark: why do I even bother...

Steve Rogers: wait aren't we all the same age 

Peter Parker: well technically 

Peter Parker: but spiritually 

Peter Parker: I'm a toddler and you're like an old man

Steve Rogers: listen here young man 

Steve Rogers: wait

Shuri: did you guys see Thor wore crocs today

Peter Quill: oh yeah lol that was hilarious 

Peter Parker: you're the one who screamed what are those, aren't you

Shuri: perhaps 

Peter Quill: wait where is Thor anyway 

Loki Odinson: sleeping.

Loki Odinson: and snoring.

Loki Odinson: l o u d l y.

Steve Rogers: wait why are you guys even awake

Steve Rogers: its three am 

Peter Parker: why are YOU

Steve Rogers: I'm not tired at all

Steve Rogers: it feels like I took a 70 year nap so

Tony Stark: I have crippling depression 

Peter Parker: :(

Shuri: lol I have a project due tomorrow

Peter Parker: wait 

Peter Parker: in what class

Shuri: math??? We had a big project due???

Peter Parker has gone offline 

Tony Stark: pshhh who sleeps anymore anyway 

Tony Stark: who even needs sleep

Steve Rogers: probably you

Tony Stark: ahahahaha

Tony Stark: hahahaha

Tony Stark. No.

Steve Rogers: Tony.

Tony Stark: I'm working on that suit thing dw 

Steve Rogers: I'll wake up that wizard dude you like 

Steve Rogers: if you don't get to bed

Tony Stark: I don't like him like that!

Steve Rogers: Tony. 

Tony Stark: alright fine fine

Tony Stark: gn mr old man 

Tony Stark has gone offline 

Steve Rogers: Alright Bruce I can see you lurking

Bruce Banner: shhhhhhh

Steve Rogers: and you

Steve Rogers: why are you here

Loki Odinson: because I'm awesome

Loki Odinson: and the child likes me for some reason :/

Loki Odinson: now if you excuse me

Loki Odinson: I'm going to go stab Thor 

Steve Rogers: WAIT LOKI THATS ILLEGAL-

Loki Odinson has gone offline 

Peter Quill: oh noooo :(

Peter Quill: poor Thor :(((((

Shuri: you're just mad that everyone voted for Thor instead of you when we had to vote for the captain of the dodgeball team 

Peter Quill: OK FIRST OF ALL

Shuri: spare your breath

Shuri: I don't care

Steve Rogers: like sister like brother 

Bruce Banner: oh yeah remember that time when Clint introduced himself and T'challa just 

Bruce Banner: 'I don't care'

Bruce Banner: yeah that was great

Bruce Banner: haha

Bruce Banner: guys?

Bruce Banner: ugh they must've gone to sleep

Bruce Banner has gone offline 

\-----------------------------------  
Text Message   
7:40 am 

Loki Odinson: FUCK ODIN

Loki Odinson: FUCK THOR 

Loki Odinson: FUCK THANOS

Loki Odinson: AND FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS

Clint Barton: what the fuCK

Peter Parker: Mr Loki are you ok

Loki Odinson: MY FATHER STOLE MY FUCKING GARLIC BREAD

Thor Odinson: ALRIGHT FIRST OF ALL THAT WAS MY GARLIC BREAD THAT YOU STOLE FROM ME

Loki Odinson: SHUT UP THOR OR ELSE ILL STAB YOU AGAIN

Tony Stark: wait you actually stabbed him

Loki Odinson: I didn't hit any major arteries he'll be fine 

Peter Parker: extra pocket 

Tony Stark: what no

Clint Barton: how is Mr Thanos involved 

Shuri: did our Principal steal your garlic bread as well

Loki Odinson: yeah I had a dream he strangled me to death

Loki Odinson: so I'm salty about that 

Thor Odinson: that's not good 

Loki Odinson: yeah no shit you dick waffle 

Shuri: d I c k w a f f l e 

Natasha Romanov: ANYWAY, Peter, why did you even make this

Peter Parker: we've been in school for like two months and we've already separated into cliques 

Peter Parker: so I wanted to get us to interact with each other more

Peter Quill: what? We don't have cliques! We're high schoolers, we don't do that shit 

Shuri: there's the space nerds which are Quill, Drax, Rocket, Gamora, Groot, and Mantis

Peter Parker: the fighty people, like Mr Stark, Mr Thor, Ms Natasha, Mr Clint, Mr Bruce, and Mr Steve

Shuri: then there's Loki

Loki Odinson: alright wow 

Loki Odinson: I came here to have a good time 

Loki Odinson: and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now 

Bucky Barnes: he's been hanging out with me and Nebula. 

Stephen Strange: and me, Wanda, and Vision 

Peter Parker: the magic bois

Shuri: wait Bucky and Loki are the greasy gay evil boys 

Bucky Barnes: I mean

Loki Odinson: yeah I'll allow that 

Tony Stark: also peter you don't need to call us mr and ms

Natasha Romanov: yeah, you're like the same age as us right?

Peter Parker: ah I skipped 8th grade 

Thor Odinson: wait what 

Tony Stark: YOU ARE A C H I L D 

Tony Stark: YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

Tony Stark: AND YET YOURE IN HIGHSCHOOL

Peter Quill: bro chill he's only 2 years younger than us

Tony Stark: I thought he was a freshman 

Peter Parker: I mean technically I am 

Tony Stark: but

Tony Stark: but you're 

Tony Stark: c h i l d

Peter Parker: I'm babey

Shuri: wow

Shuri: are all sophomores this weird

Clint Barton: isn't your brother a sophomore 

Shuri: well yeah but I knew he was weird

Shuri: he is the resident furry after all

Thor Odinson: what is a furry

Loki Odinson: oh

Loki Odinson: its when you really like animals

Thor Odinson: oh!

Thor Odinson: so I'm a furry then!

Loki Odinson: :)

Steve Rogers: WAIT STOP 

Steve Rogers: THATS NOT WHAT IT IS

Thor Odinson has gone offline 

Loki Odinson: oh I'm such a little shit 

Loki Odinson: yeah I'll tell him later :/

Loki Odinson has gone offline 

Bruce Banner: are you guys even getting ready for school 

Bruce Banner: we have a big assembly thing today remember 

Shuri: fuck.

Shuri has gone offline 

Bucky Barnes: oh yeah I forgot that was a thing 

Steve Rogers: Bucky you want me to pick you up again?

Bucky Barnes: oh yeah 

Bucky Barnes: I'm outside

Steve Rogers: great I'll be right there 

Everyone has gone offline


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those sexuality headcanons are just my opinion if you dont like it dont comment! :)
> 
> (also I know Loki is canonically bi I just love him and Bucky being gay greasy villian turned hero bois together)

Text Message   
6:34 pm

Natasha Romanov: if school sucks and you know it clap your hands

Peter Parker: ugh I feel that 

Stephen Strange: -aggressive clapping-

Tony Stark: what happened 

Stephen Strange: so we were doing a dissection in bio right

Tony Stark: oh yeah I forgot you have bio 

Bucky Barnes: stfu Stark you don't need to brag that you're smart 

Tony Stark: I wasn't bragging

Tony Stark: but yeah I am smart

Tony Stark: what are you gonna do about it 

Bucky Barnes: nothing

Bucky Barnes: but only because Steve will get mad

Tony Stark: you're so gay 

Bucky Barnes: as if you arent

Stephen Strange: stop fighting I'm supposed to be telling a story 

Stephen Strange: anyway I was supposed to be leading the dissection

Stephen Strange: but my hands were doing that stupid shaky thing that they do 

Stephen Strange: so fucking NICK had to take over

Tony Stark: who's nick

Stephen Strange: stop interrupting 

Stephen Strange: and of course he fucked it up 

Stephen Strange: so now everyone got a C for it 

Tony Stark: wow that sucks 

Stephen Strange: I could've done better than him though!

Tony Stark: yeah I'm sure

Natasha Romanov: you're totally rolling your eyes rn 

Peter Parker: but yeah school sucks tennis balls 

Loki Odinson: you should look at the bright side 

Peter Parker: which is?

Loki Odinson: free knives 

Tony Stark: wait what 

Tony Stark: how the hell do you get free knives 

Loki Odinson: :)

Peter Parker: oh no 

Natasha Romanov: lol 

Thor Odinson: Loooooookkkkiiiiii

Thor Odinson: don't >:(

Loki Odinson: ugh fine I'll stop stabbing 

Loki Odinson: for now :)

Peter Parker: oh wait we need a name for the gc! 

Stephen Strange: yeah I forgot you could do that 

Loki Odinson changed the group chat name to "The Gayvengers Assemble"

Bucky Barnes: I would be mad if it wasn't true

Tony Stark: works for me

Stephen Strange: I don't think anyone here is straight anyway 

Peter Parker: I am

Natasha Romanov: shh

Thor Odinson: oh wait! I just remembered 

Loki Odinson: what 

Thor Odinson: didn't the acting place you go to release parts today?

Loki Odinson: oh yeah 

Thor Odinson: what part did you get?

Loki Odinson: wouldn't you like to know weather boy 

Peter Parker: djeheuehehhdhdhdhd

Thor Odinson: what

Thor Odinson: what does that mean 

Loki Odinson: wOuLdNt YoU LiKe To KnOw WeAtHeR bOy

Peter Parker: im fukign crying

Tony Stark: I swear if you taught him vines

Peter Parker: I may have

Thor Odinson: ???

Natasha Romanov: he is confusion 

Thor Odinson: oh wait

Thor Odinson: S h I t 

Thor Odinson: Loki fathers almost home

Loki Odinson: fuuuuuuuuuck

Loki Odinson: GOTTA GO FAST

Loki Odinson has gone offline 

Thor Odinson has gone offline 

Tony Stark: hm 

Peter Parker: what is it mr stark 

Tony Stark: oh nothing 

Tony Stark: just thinking 

Stephen Strange: don't worry

Stephen Strange: doing anything for the first time is difficult 

Tony Stark: WOW

Tony Stark: IM SMARTER THAN YOU DIPSHIT 

Peter Parker: djshdjshahsjsj

Peter Parker: y'all are cute~

Natasha Romanov: oh so you're a bottom 

Peter Parker: AHDHSHHDJDJD

Peter Parker: WH AT 

Peter Parker: IM NOT EVEN GA Y

Natasha Romanov: that basically proved it 

Bucky Barnes: you're so far back in the closet I'm sure you can see Narnia 

Peter Parker: have you forgotten that I literally have a crush on a girl in my class

Natasha Romanov: Don't tell me that she doesn't pull on the strap on every night 

Bucky Barnes: also consider: Bi

Peter Parker: STOP CALLING ME OUT GUYS

Peter Parker: MR STARK

Tony Stark: what

Peter Parker: THEYRE BULLYING ME

Natasha Romanov: is it bullying if we're right 

Natasha Romanov: besides Pete we don't mean it in a bad way

Peter Parker: oh 

Bucky Barnes: you thought we were legitimately bullying you???

Natasha Romanov: c h i l d no

Bucky Barnes: Here I have a list of what everyone is 

Bucky Barnes: Stark-Bi  
Thor-I don't know honestly   
Natasha-Pan af  
Barton-bi I think   
Bruce-he might be ace idk  
Steve-bi I hope  
Me-gay as hell  
Shuri-pretty sure she's pan  
Quill-pan  
Loki-either gay or bi idk   
Strange-bi 

Natasha Romanov: see kid

Peter Parker: oooh 

Peter Parker: I see

Peter Parker: so yeah 

Peter Parker: I may be just a teeny tiny bit bi...

Peter Parker: BUT DONT TELL ANYONE

Loki Odinson: lol I won't

Tony Stark: WAIT WHEN DID YOU GET BACK

Loki Odinson: after father stopped being a dirty hoe and let me go back to my room

Natasha Romanov: what about Thor 

Loki Odinson: there's no need to worry about him

Loki Odinson: after all father actually likes him

Peter Parker: :(

Bucky Barnes: are you the ocean

Loki Odinson: because I'm beautiful and make people choke? 

Bucky Barnes: no because god damn I can taste the salt from here

Natasha Romanov: wait

Loki Odinson: also Barnes I'm the gayest fucker you'll ever meet

Bucky Barnes: I'll add it to the list 

Loki Odinson: shit hang on one second 

Loki Odinson has gone offline 

Steve Rogers: YOU ALL SHOULD BE EATING  
DINNER

Tony Stark: did you come online just to yell at us 

Bucky Barnes: I mean have any of us eaten yet 

Tony Stark: YEAH BUT HE DOESNT KNOW THAT

Steve Rogers has deactivated the chat for two hours  
Reason: you guys need to eat   
\-----------------------------------  
Peter Parker to: Loki Odinson 7:59 pm 

Peter Parker: Mr Loki are you ok

Loki Odinson: oh yeah I'm fine

Peter Parker: are you lying 

Loki Odinson: no why would I lie

Peter Parker: to protect your brother

Loki Odinson: what

Peter Parker: idk it sounded cool

Loki Odinson: I hate him why would I protect him 

Peter Parker: are you sure it's him that you hate 

Loki Odinson: child

Loki Odinson: you're sounding like 'the ancient one'

Peter Parker: yeah ik 

Peter Parker: I don't know what I'm doing 

Peter Parker: but seriously 

Peter Parker: if you ever need help just know I'm here for you 

Loki Odinson: you know

Loki Odinson: I might not choose to stab you 

Peter Parker: awesome! 

Peter Parker has gone offline 

Loki Odinson: ...

Loki Odinson: thank you


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> username changes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a better username for one or more of the characters let me know!

The Gayvengers Assemble   
10:45 am

Shuri: we need to change names!

Shuri: these usernames are getting boring

Tony Stark: alright that's true 

Shuri has removed admin rights from Tony Stark and 10 others

Clint Barton: oH NO

Shuri has changed her name to MemeGod

Natasha Romanov: I'm terrified 

MemeGod: good :)

MemeGod: Peter 

MemeGod: since I like you 

MemeGod: you get to choose your name

Peter Parker: oh cool!

Peter Parker: how about...

Peter Parker: spooder moon 

Tony Stark: you got bitten by a spider ONE TIME

Peter Parker: IT REALLY HURT OK

Thor Odinson: and it was blue and red

Loki Odinson: that's probably not good 

Bucky Barnes: what the hell

Peter Parker: basically during the first week of school I got bitten by a spider

Thor Odinson: and I was there

Thor Odinson: wasn't it from science class

Peter Parker: yeah!

Peter Parker: so I had to go to the nurse

Peter Parker: and then mr Thor started calling me man of spiders

Peter Parker: and it kinda spiraled from there

Bucky Barnes: wait wait wait

Bucky Barnes: a blue and red spider

Bucky Barnes: from science class 

Bruce Banner: shit 

Bruce Banner: peter has there been any long term effects 

Bruce Banner: memory loss, sweaty hands

Bruce Banner: maybe even super strength 

Natasha Romanov: what the hell were you guys doing

Peter Parker: nope! Just for a few days afterward I felt like I could climb walls

Bruce Banner: alright

Bucky Barnes: if anything else happens lmk

Peter Parker: ah ok I will!

Peter Parker: anyway shuri you think you could change my name to that

MemeGod: your wish is my command~

MemeGod changed Peter Parkers name to that

That: wow very funny

MemeGod: ahaha

MemeGod changed thats name to SpooderMoon

SpooderMoon: perfection 

Tony Stark: change my name to genius billionaire playboy philanthropist 

MemeGod: sorry, no more requests 

Stephen Strange: you just accepted Parkers request though 

MemeGod: he's my second in command 

SpooderMoon: YE

Bruce Banner: that's bias!

MemeGod: what are you gonna do about it 

Bruce Banner: you don't want to know 

Peter Quill: shuri don't he has a really short fuse remember 

MemeGod: haha try me 

MemeGod: I'll tear out your nerves

Bruce Banner: that can only happen if you get close

Bruce Banner: I do not intend to let that happen

Thor Odinson: HEY SHURI CHANGE MINE NEXT

Thor Odinson: and how about you guys stop fighting 

Loki Odinson: no I want to see this 

MemeGod: fine, fine

MemeGod changed Thor Odinsons name to Captain 

MemeGod changed Peter Quills name to NotCaptain

Loki Odinson: PFT WOW

NotCaptain: OH CMON 

NotCaptain: REALLY

NotCaptain: WE ALL KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE CAPTAIN 

Captain: wait you were?

Captain: I thought everyone voted for me though 

Captain: fair and square 

NotCaptain: well

NotCaptain: you only transferred here this year!

NotCaptain: I've been going to this school all my life!

NotCaptain: it should've been me

Bucky Barnes: Thor is a lot stronger though 

NotCaptain: oh cmon! I'm in good shape! 

Clint Barton: you're one sandwich away from fat

Natasha Romanov: oh shit 

SpooderMoon: shots fired

Captain: sorry Quail but I won fair and square 

NotCaptain: QUAIL?!

Captain: AUTOCORRECT 

Captain: Loki are you making popcorn?!

Loki Odinson: can you blame me?

Loki Odinson: this is entertaining af

MemeGod: and while I love reading this

MemeGod: we should continue

MemeGod changed Loki Odinsons name to KokichiOuma

KokichiOuma: wow

KokichiOuma: weeb

Captain: what

Captain: what does that mean

KokichiOuma: it means that shuri is a weeb 

MemeGod: shut up you snake!

MemeGod: oh I just got an idea 

MemeGod changed KokichiOumas name to ImASnaaaake

ImASnaaaake: I mean that's accurate 

Captain: oh did I ever tell you guys about that time when we were 8?

ImASnaaaake: Lol I remember this

Stephen Strange: no one cares

ImASnaaaake: BISH

ImASnaaaake: don't make me stab you

Stephen Strange: try me Beyoncé 

MemeGod: LMAO

MemeGod changed Stephen Stranges name to TryMeBeyonce

TryMeBeyonce: my legacy 

Bruce Banner: what is a legacy 

ImASnaaaake: it's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see

Bucky Barnes: America you great unfinished symphony you sent for me

MemeGod: you let me make a difference 

Tony Stark: wtf

Tony Stark: are you guys ok

MemeGod: loooool that's funny

ImASnaaaake: ehehehe no 

Clint Barton: drama weebs

Captain: yeah, I knew about Loki 

Captain: but I never would've expected Bucky

Bucky Barnes: Hamilton is a gay musical 

Bucky Barnes: can you blame me

ImASnaaaake: see also: Funhome 

MemeGod changed Bucky Barnes' name to GreasyGayBoi

GreasyGayBoi: that's beautiful and accurate 

Natasha Romanov: where's your boyfriend btw

GreasyGayBoi: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND 

Steve Rogers: YEAH

ImASnaaaake: you knew who she was talking about though 

Steve Rogers: that doesn't matter!

GreasyGayBoi: yeah! 

MemeGod changed Steve Rogers' name to OldMan

OldMan: but I'm the same age as you guys

SpooderMoon: you act like an old man though 

OldMan: I do not!

Tony Stark: "language"

OldMan: alright fair

SpooderMoon: also when you yell at us to eat dinner

OldMan: that was one time!

Natasha Romanov: that was twice and you know it

MemeGod: I just realized Bruce hasn't said much 

Captain: @Bruce Banner

Bruce Banner: I'm working on something

Captain: ooo what

Bruce Banner: its uh

Bruce Banner: classified 

MemeGod: Bruce are you ace

Bruce Banner: uh yeah why?

MemeGod changed Bruce Banners name to Scientace

Scientace: can I go now 

Captain: bye Bruce!

Scientace has gone offline 

MemeGod: who's name hasn't been changed yet?

Tony Stark: mine

Clint Barton: and mine

Natasha Romanov: mine as well

MemeGod: alright

MemeGod changed Clint Barton's name to HotGuy

HotGuy: YO WHAT

ImASnaaaake: spill the tea

MemeGod: I have a reason for this

SpooderMoon: here's

SpooderMoon: the motherfucking

SpooderMoon: T E A

MemeGod: yknow how your nickname is Hawkeye

HotGuy: Ye

MemeGod: well for the first week of  
School I thought it was HotGuy

SpooderMoon: ME TOO

Tony Stark: oh yeah

TryMeBeyonce: that happened to everyone 

MemeGod: so Ye

MemeGod: oh god oh fuck 

MemeGod: the teacher is gonna catch us

MemeGod: we gotta go 

ImASnaaaake: NYOOOOM

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-not changed yet  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-not changed yet  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst angst angst angst angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: abuse, that kind of stuff
> 
> I wrote this at 12 am when I guess I felt like torturing Loki? lol whoops-

The Gayvengers assemble  
9:47 pm 

Captain: Guys please help 

Captain: I need someone to take us to the hospital 

Captain: it's urgent 

ImASnaaaake: Thor, you're overreacting 

Captain: you're bleeding! Badly! 

ImASnaaaake: I've had worse! Now you're just going to make everyone panic

NotCaptain: Alright idk why you're bleeding but me and other peter are omw 

Natasha Romanov: Why are you two together 

NotCaptain: we had a group project to do 

SpooderMoon: just hang on you two! 

HotGuy: can't your dad drive you? 

Captain: ah, well 

ImASnaaaake: he's asleep. 

HotGuy: can't you just wake him 

ImASnaaaake: no, we can't. 

Natasha Romanov: you guys apparently need to get to the hospital asap

Natasha Romanov: and you can't wake him???

Tony Stark: Nat just

Tony Stark: don't  
\-----------------------------------  
Bruce to: Thor  
9:54 pm 

Bruce: explain. Now. 

Thor: father got a bit drunk 

Thor: and Loki forgot to hide his pride flag...

Bruce: you guys NEED to call the police or something 

Bruce: this is getting out of hand...

Thor: father is good friends with the head of the police force

Thor: they'd never believe us

Bruce: you have to at least tell them 

Thor: tonight father seriously injured my brother just for having a pride flag

Thor: if he finds out that we told the police about what he does

Thor: I don't even want to think about what he'd do 

Bruce: wait

Bruce: wait how badly injured is he 

Thor: right now my brother is sitting on the couch leaning on me 

Thor: so pretty badly injured 

Bruce: what

Bruce: what the hell

Bruce: what's the specific damage 

Thor: a few cuts on his arms and face, it looks like his ankle is twisted maybe, and I think his arm is broken

Thor: oh and there are going to be quite a few bruises

Bruce: YOU NEED TO CALL THE COPS

Thor: We can't 

Thor: we just need to last two more years

Bruce: then what happens 

Thor: we have a sister that lives across the country

Thor: after we graduate highschool and become legal adults

Thor: we have a plan that we're going to go live with her 

Bruce: holy shit

Bruce: alright I'm this close to kicking your dads ass 

Thor: I do not condone that 

Thor: but if you just so happen to hit him with a car or something accidentally

Thor: who am I to judge

Bruce: I'll keep that in mind  
\-----------------------------------

The Gayvengers assemble  
10:02 pm 

NotCaptain: holy shit 

NotCaptain: when you said "bleeding" I did not think you meant knocking on deaths door

NotCaptain: how the hell did this happen 

ImASnaaaake: I may have fallen down the stairs 

SpooderMoon: that kinda stuff can't happen when you just fall down some stairs

ImASnaaaake: they were very tall stairs? 

Scientace: don't you guys have a one story house

SpooderMoon: and who's that passed out guy in the corner?

Natasha Romanov: OH WAIT

Natasha Romanov: OHHHHH

Natasha Romanov: oh that's really not good 

ImASnaaaake: well that took you a while 

Natasha Romanov: did you just call me dumb?!

ImASnaaaake: someone like you should understand the situation immediately 

Scientace: Loki calm down 

ImASnaaaake: I am calm. 

Captain: sit back down please 

ImASnaaaake: I'm fine. 

NotCaptain: he says then passes out 

Captain: do you guys think he'll be ok 

SpooderMoon: yeah, definitely 

Tony Stark: he's stronger than he looks

Natasha Romanov: yeah 

NotCaptain: ok we're driving now 

NotCaptain: do not disturb is turned on 

The Gayvengers assemble  
12:05 am 

NotCaptain: alright we're back

Tony Stark: what's the damage 

Captain: there's a couple bruises and stuff, but the only lasting things are a broken arm and a twisted ankle 

HotGuy: YOU BROKE YOUR ARM?! 

ImASnaaaake: perhaps 

Natasha Romanov: wow

Natasha Romanov: they were very tall stairs, weren't they

ImASnaaaake: yes very., tall stairs 

ImASnaaaake: yes

Captain: they gave him some very strong pain killers 

ImASnaaaake: ehehehe

Tony Stark: do you guys have health insurance and shit like that 

Captain: probably not 

Tony Stark: alright then I'm paying for it 

Captain: Tony you know you don't have to do that! 

Tony Stark: I know 

Tony Stark: but I'm a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist 

Tony Stark: I can spare some money

SpooderMoon: but you're not a billionaire 

Tony Stark: yet. 

NotCaptain: damn that's ominous 

ImASnaaaake: alright im gona turns of ffm y phone before I do something embarresing 

ImASnaaaake has gone offline 

Natasha Romanov: call the cops Thor

Natasha Romanov: or CPS or at least something 

SpooderMoon: wait what 

Captain: two more years 

Captain: we only need to wait two more years  
\-----------------------------------  
Tony to: Thor  
12:25 am 

Tony: can you guys really wait that long 

Thor: we have to 

Tony: its worse than what you said, isn't it?

Thor: he's going to need a lot of foundation...

Tony: call. The. Cops.

Thor: they'd never believe us 

Thor: my father is an excellent liar

Thor: besides they'd have to talk to him 

Thor: and you know how that would go 

Tony: I'm really sorry Thor 

Tony: we all wish we could help

Thor: he's a fine person when he's sober

Thor: but that doesn’t happen very much anymore 

Thor: I just wish I could fix this 

Thor: I wish we could take a break 

Tony: oh? 

Thor: when our mother passed, that's when father started getting more...

Thor: and that's when Loki started getting more distant

Thor: I just want things to be back the way they were

Thor: I want my brother to be ok... 

Thor: I want the sun to shine on us again 

Tony: and it will 

Tony: things will get better, I promise 

Tony: you just have to hang in there 

Thor: do you want to hear a story from when we were 8 

Tony: go ahead 

Thor: I was out picking berries or something in the forest by our house

Thor: and I saw a snake in the middle of the path

Thor: so i picked it up because I love snakes

Thor: then Loki jumped out of a nearby bush and tackled me 

Tony: yup, that sounds like him 

Thor: it was a fun day 

Thor: then afterwards he stabbed one of my stuffed animals so that sucks

Tony: definitely sounds like him 

Tony: what's he doing right now 

Thor: he's sleeping next to me 

Tony: good. He definitely needs the sleep 

Thor: yes 

Thor: he worries me sometimes...

Tony: I think he worries all of us sometimes  
\-----------------------------------  
Thor to: Loki  
1:45 am 

Thor: are you doing alright 

Loki: I am literally right next to you. 

Thor: I know 

Loki: but to answer your question I'm perfectly splendid

Loki: I have a broken arm and I can hardly walk on my right foot but yes Thor I'm doing wonderful. 

Thor: two more years

Thor: two more years

Loki: yes. Only two more years 

Loki: we've lasted this long 

Loki: two years should be easy 

Thor: right 

Loki: ...

Loki: brother? 

Loki: I don't expect you to notice these kinds of things but 

Loki: has he been acting more physical and harsher lately

Thor: oh thank god I thought I was going crazy 

Thor: I noticed, by the way! 

Loki: he hasn't done anything to you, has he?

Thor: he's just yelled at me, but nothing physical 

Thor: though I feel that's going to change soon...

Loki: if he lays a hand on you 

Loki: let me know. 

Thor: do you care about everyone except yourself

Loki: ahaha

Loki: I care for no one. 

Thor: liar. 

Loki: yeah, maybe 

Thor: I'm staying with you tonight, by the way 

Loki: alright fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-not changed yet  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-not changed yet  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chill day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the beginning of some plot! Wow :0

The Gayvengers assemble  
12:38 pm 

MemeGod: I'm sorry I was inactive last night 

MemeGod: Loki, Thor, if you guys need blasters

MemeGod: you know who to call

OldMan: yeah same

OldMan: I mean, not the blaster part but still 

OldMan: Are you two ok? 

ImASnaaaake: we're gucci 

ImASnaaaake: B)

OldMan: huh?????

SpooderMoon: KAHDKEFIEHSJJS

SpooderMoon: YES KANDJSHS

Tony Stark: are you ok

SpooderMoon: MR LOKI IM SO HAPPY 

SpooderMoon: YOURE USING THE SLANG AND MEMES I TAUGHT YOU 

ImASnaaaake: oh so I used it correctly 

SpooderMoon: YE

Captain: can you teach me memes, man of spiders? 

SpooderMoon: HELL YEAH OF COURSE 

GreasyGayBoi: oh no 

MemeGod: oh wait I just remembered 

MemeGod: I still need to change Natasha's and Tony's names! 

MemeGod changed Natasha Romanovs name to RomanovNoodles 

MemeGod: get it?

MemeGod: cuz Romanov kinda sounds like Ramen

RomanovNoodles: ooh lol 

RomanovNoodles: that's not funny 

MemeGod: stfu 

MemeGod changed Tony Starks name to Shorty 

Shorty: you will perish by sundown. 

MemeGod: lol 

ImASnaaaake: who the hell is blasting Avril Lavigne from downstairs 

ImASnaaaake: I'm trying to study for the midterm exam 

SpooderMoon: wait the W H A T 

GreasyGayBoi: the midterm? Our science one is next week

SpooderMoon: ._.

SpooderMoon: oh.

Scientace: tony and I could help you study 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah I'm coming too 

TryMeBeyonce: truth be told, I'm better at mythology than science 

Shorty: you're training to be a doctor though?

TryMeBeyonce: shh

OldMan: wait Loki you've been online this entire time 

OldMan: how is that studying?

ImASnaaaake: it's a technique I'm trying out

TryMeBeyonce: sure

RomanovNoodles: so I'm eating noodles right 

RomanovNoodles: and suddenly there's plastic?

RomanovNoodles: just in the bowl 

RomanovNoodles: idk where it came from 

NotCaptain: maybe you should stop eating that brand then 

RomanovNoodles: meh

RomanovNoodles: I'm here for a good time not a long time 

HotGuy: Nat that's not good

MemeGod: lol same 

Scientace: you guys have the self preservation of an 11 year old 

TryMeBeyonce: but still that's weird that there was plastic in your noodles

TryMeBeyonce: or should I say 

TryMeBeyonce: strange

SpooderMoon: sjshagsjshhsh

Shorty: that's so cheesy!!

NotCaptain: hey have you guys noticed something weird? 

Shorty: what?

NotCaptain: Mr Thanos has been acting pretty off recently :/

HotGuy: QUILL YOU NOTICED TOO THANK GOD

TryMeBeyonce: what did he do?

NotCaptain: well yknow that stone that my mom gave me

Scientace: the purple one? That you carry around with you everywhere?

NotCaptain: yeah 

NotCaptain: he confiscated it earlier today

NotCaptain: idk why I wasn't even doing anything with it

NotCaptain: it's really special tho :(

RomanovNoodles: oh yeah isn't a part of a set of six?

RomanovNoodles: and they come from a meteor or something 

Scientace: yeah don't they correspond with certain attributes or whatever? 

Shorty: oh yeah I've heard about those

Shorty: I think purple is power, blue is space, red is reality, green is time, yellow is mind, and orange is soul 

OldMan: I wonder what happens when you combine them all 

ImASnaaaake: the gays

Captain: what?

ImASnaaaake: the gays

GreasyGayBoi: they're probably so spread out that you'd never be able to collect them all 

Captain: well we know where two are

HotGuy: 2?

Captain: Quill has the purple one, and Loki and I have the blue one 

SpooderMoon: oh wait doesn't the collector dude from the other class have the red one? 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah and I have the green one 

TryMeBeyonce: it's been passed down in my family 

Shorty: also vis has the yellow one 

GreasyGayBoi: oh wow

GreasyGayBoi: I stand corrected 

MemeGod: damn that's convenient 

RomanovNoodles: what about the soul stone tho 

Shorty: idek if anyone's seen it 

NotCaptain: I think Gamoras told me about it before 

GreasyGayBoi: oh shit 

GreasyGayBoi: so they're pretty much all here 

HotGuy: do you think Mr Thanos wants them for some reason? 

OldMan: maybe, but I don't think it's something to loose sleep over

HotGuy: dw quill we'll steal yours back 

NotCaptain: alright thanks 

SpooderMoon: guys 

SpooderMoon: he has a tiktok 

Shorty: who?

MemeGod: SPILL THE TEA

Captain: what's a tiktok 

SpooderMoon: oh um a tiktok is 

SpooderMoon: you know that trope where the hero dies and then the others try to revive him but he comes back slightly evil and deranged 

SpooderMoon: that's what happened to vine 

SpooderMoon: so basically tiktok is evil resurrected vine 

Captain: I...

Captain: ok, man of spiders, ok 

ImASnaaaake: isn't tiktok dead by now? 

SpooderMoon: yeah yeah but I was bored and wanted to do some stalking 

ImASnaaaake: fair enough 

RomanovNoodles: WHO HAS A TIKTOK?!

SpooderMoon: mr thanos

HotGuy: W H A T

SpooderMoon: I was doing some digging and found his profile 

SpooderMoon: he has a couple hundred followers so that's a shock 

SpooderMoon: he's not that good at it tho :/

ImASnaaaake: what do you expect 

ImASnaaaake: he's old 

MemeGod: lol almost as old as Steve 

OldMan: HEY 

GreasyGayBoi: aren't we all the same age 

SpooderMoon: NOT SPIRITUALLY 

SpooderMoon: how many times to I have to explain this 

GreasyGayBoi: so basically I'm a semi stable 100 year old man 

Shorty: semi stable

GreasyGayBoi: did you expect anything more 

Shorty: touché

SpooderMoon: I think mr thanos' account is just followed by people from our school

SpooderMoon: there's mr vis, ms Wanda, mr groot, ms mantis 

SpooderMoon: WAIT

SpooderMoon: MR LOKI YOU HAVE A TIKTOK?!

ImASnaaaake: lol

Captain: what 

SpooderMoon: yeah he has like a lot of followers 

ImASnaaaake: lmao 

Captain: he started cackling oh no

ImASnaaaake: THATS JUST MY NORMAL LAUGH YOU EGG

NotCaptain: what, you egg?

MemeGod: he stabs him

Captain: pretty much yeah

Captain: I should probably go to the nurse 

Shorty: w h a t

ImASnaaaake: lol. 

SpooderMoon: mr Loki did you actually 

ImASnaaaake: I just grazed the side of his arm he'll be fine 

ImASnaaaake: he's not even bleeding that much 

Scientace: are you sure he's ok? I mean you could be lying about just grazing the side of his arm 

ImASnaaaake: he's fine. 

OldMan: do you just like carry knives with you? 

ImASnaaaake: yes 

MemeGod: oh lit how many 

ImASnaaaake: three? Occasionally four if I need to

MemeGod: noice 

GreasyGayBoi: they're all for different purposes, right 

ImASnaaaake: of course, I'm not an animal 

RomanovNoodles: yeah you don't want to use the knife you cut food with to stab people 

RomanovNoodles: that'd be gross

ImASnaaaake: exactly 

GreasyGayBoi: you guys understand then

GreasyGayBoi: proper knife etiquette 

RomanovNoodles: obvs 

OldMan: three knives, one for cutting food, one for hopefully not cutting people 

OldMan: what's the third one for?

ImASnaaaake: that ones the one I use for pretty much anything 

ImASnaaaake: need to pry open a jar of something because your idiot brother screwed it on too tight

ImASnaaaake: knife number three is your go to

ImASnaaaake: then you use knife number two to go stab said idiot brother

RomanovNoodles: you could also use the food knife to open up food jars in a pinch

ImASnaaaake: that is very true 

SpooderMoon: :0 wow I'm learning a lot 

GreasyGayBoi: do you guys collect them? 

ImASnaaaake: yeah I have a shelf of differently painted ones on my bedroom wall 

RomanovNoodles: I don't 

RomanovNoodles: I collect guns tho 

GreasyGayBoi: same 

ImASnaaaake: guns are so cliche tbh 

RomanovNoodles: say that again when youre stuck trying to kill some absolute fucking unit with a butter knife

HotGuy: I collect arrows

RomanovNoodles: oo cool 

Shorty: one time we were in class one time and there was a wasp so Loki just took out one of his knives and threw it at it

Shorty: he missed tho 

MemeGod: HIT OR MISS

SpooderMoon: I GUESS THEY SOMETIMES MISS HUH

ImASnaaaake: but yeah then I got a detention that sucked :/

OldMan: oh shit guys class is starting in a few minutes 

Shorty: language! 

OldMan: shhhhhh

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint lost his hearing aid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how hearing aids work I'm sorry

The gayvengers assemble  
12:09 pm

HotGuy: guys 

HotGuy: guys help 

RomanovNoodles: what's up? 

HotGuy: so you guys know how I'm hard of hearing 

SpooderMoon: wait since when?! 

HotGuy: w h a t

HotGuy: dude have you not noticed my hearing aid at ALL throughout the year

SpooderMoon: YOUR WHAT

NotCaptain: lol aren't you supposed to be a genius 

Shorty: don't insult my kid!

OldMan: what

SpooderMoon: w h a t

TryMeBeyonce: what

Shorty: oh shit

SpooderMoon: :0 mr stark!!

Shorty: gotta blast 

SpooderMoon: you are my daaad

SpooderMoon: you're my dad

MemeGod: BOGIE WOGIE WOGIE

HotGuy: GUYS this is a time sensitive issue 

Scientace: what happened 

HotGuy: I lost my hearing aid 

GreasyGayBoi: how do you loose an entire hearing aid 

OldMan: how do you lose an entire metal arm

GreasyGayBoi: I mean fair 

HotGuy: don't judge me! 

HotGuy: but yeah I'm panicking 

HotGuy: I have no idea where it is 

HotGuy: my parents are gonna kill me those things are really expensive 

TryMeBeyonce: that's what you're worried about 

TryMeBeyonce: your parents

TryMeBeyonce: not you know 

TryMeBeyonce: being able to hear for the rest of the day 

HotGuy: oh shit you're right 

Shorty: nice going Stephen you just made him more nervous 

Captain: just stay calm and retrace your steps

Scientace: exactly

Scientace: sometimes that’s all you can do in these situations

SpooderMoon: mr Clint I could help you look!

HotGuy: thanks kid

NotCaptain: lol its probably in the vents

HotGuy: SHUSH

HotGuy: WE DON’T SPEAK OF THAT

SpooderMoon: what

RomanovNoodles: it's nothing don't worry about it

SpooderMoon: uh alright 

ImASnaaaake: well it's not in the library 

Captain: aw you checked?

ImASnaaaake: I just happened to be looking around! This means nothing! 

HotGuy: thanks for checking Loki 

HotGuy: so it's not in the library

Captain: I am in the gym right now and I don't see it

Shorty: what makes you think clint would EVER go to the gym 

HotGuy: ok wow 

HotGuy: rude

HotGuy: I'm just trying to find my goddamn hearing aid

OldMan: language

HotGuy: cmon

ImASnaaaake: are you certain it's not in the equipment room

ImASnaaaake: you tend to spend a lot of time in there

HotGuy: no I already checked

HotGuy: Oh god what the hell should I do 

RomanovNoodles: hey

RomanovNoodles: calm down

RomanovNoodles: it's gonna be alright

Scientace: when was the last time you had it?

HotGuy: uuuuuhhh

HotGuy: I noticed it was missing when I was walking from the bathroom to the courtyard

HotGuy: so maybe it's in the bathroom?

Captain: could you not hear the toilet flushing or something?

HotGuy: I had a lot on my mind so I wasn’t really paying attention

TryMeBeyonce: why didn't you check the bathroom first

HotGuy: I don't know!! I was panicking!!

SpooderMoon: I'm omw to the bathroom rn!

MemeGod: right behind you Peter!

SpooderMoon: wait but you can't go into the boys bathroom

MemeGod: I'm gonna look around the bathroom 

TryMeBeyonce: I'll keep my eye out for it

ImASnaaaake: same

HotGuy: thanks guys I appreciate it

ImASnaaaake: thank us after we find it

Captain: clint where were you before you went to the bathroom 

Clint: I was in the music room 

Captain: alright Loki and I will check there!

ImASnaaaake: fine

SpooderMoon: I don’t see anything in the bathroom

MemeGod: um

MemeGod: guys

OldMan: what is it

MemeGod: I found a note right by the boys bathroom 

MemeGod: “if you want to find your hearing aid, go to room 226”

RomanovNoodles: that’s the abandoned storage room though

SpooderMoon: yeah..

ImASnaaaake: I'll go and bring my knives just in case 

Captain: don't you bring your knives everywhere?

ImASnaaaake: that’s not the point

HotGuy: alright I'll meet you by the staircase

ImASnaaaake: right

MemeGod: peter and I are coming too!

TryMeBeyonce: message me if anything goes wrong

OldMan: yeah message us

SpooderMoon: lol why is it so dark in here

MemeGod: please don’t eat my ass spirits

ImASnaaaake: whats up demons its me ya boi

HotGuy: alright we're seriously about to get murdered

SpooderMoon: theres no one in here though

MemeGod: OH FUCK

TryMeBeyonce: what?! What happened

MemeGod: the door just closed and locked us in here

OldMan: loki what did you do?

ImASnaaaake: what

ImASnaaaake: it actually wasn’t me this time

Captain: blaming you first saves a lot of time

ImASnaaaake: this is slander

ImASnaaaake: don’t make me stab you

SpooderMoon: DID YOU FORGET WERE LOCKED INSIDE A STORAGE ROOM

SpooderMoon: THERES NO STABBING ANYONE BECAUSE WE CANT GET OUT

Shorty: woah pete calm down

ImASnaaaake: I can pick locks though?

SpooderMoon: what

SpooderMoon: then why haven’t you yet

ImASnaaaake: it was funny

MemeGod: oh sweet freedom

HotGuy: but I still don’t have my hearing aid

Clint: im going back inside to look for it

ImASnaaaake: I would not recommend that but go off I guess

HotGuy: YES I FOUND IT

HotGuy: “idk whos hearing aid this is but thanks for going on my scavenger hunt -the shiny stealer”

Shorty: alright so the collector stole your hearing aid

SpooderMoon: how do you know it was him

OldMan: he steals EVERYTHING

MemeGod: why???

Scientace: no one knows 

Shorty: he's stolen my gloves before 

Captain: and my hammer

RomanovNoodles: some ammo that I had lying around

HotGuy: well you know what he stole from me

Scientace: my glasses when I took them off for literally 30 seconds

OldMan: somehow he took my razor and I had to like grow out a beard for a few weeks

GreasyGayBoi: my fucking arm

NotCaptain: I used to have a Walkman but now its god knows where

ImASnaaaake: my fucking nail polish

TryMeBeyonce: as well as my book

SpooderMoon: wow

MemeGod: so I guess we should prepare ourselves then

Shorty: yeah you should 

OldMan: be careful and stay sharp

NotCaptain: be: careful 

NotCaptain: stay: sharp

NotCaptain: dick: out

SpooderMoon: gurgbqblibhvbuijxlw

SpooderMoon: WOW

Scientace: genuinely shocked by that one

ImASnaaaake: that was beautiful

Captain: I don’t get it

Scientace: yeah and its staying like that

MemeGod: I cant believe managed to find his hearing aid by going into a dark one exit room

SpooderMoon: yeah if we were in a horror movie we definitely would’ve died

TryMeBeyonce: glad we're not in a horror movie then

ImASnaaaake: with you around I wouldn't be so sure

MemeGod: SHOTS FIRED

SpooderMoon: OOOOOO

Captain: brother that was mean

ImASnaaaake: I know :)

MemeGod: all good things must come to an end

Shorty: what

MemeGod: class starts in five

OldMan: AVENGERS DISASSEMBLE

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont even know at this point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted it to be gay sorry

The gayevngers assemble  
5:00 pm 

MemeGod: hey everyone today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down

MemeGod: the benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less

SpooderMoon: are you ok

MemeGod: T'challa pushed me down the fucking stairs

NotCaptain: why???

MemeGod: we were racing to see who could get to the tech room first 

ImASnaaaake: wouldn’t pushing you down the stairs just make you go faster than him

MemeGod: WAIT-

GreasyGayBoi: loki? Using logic? In this economy? 

ImASnaaaake: -_-

OldMan: you guys should be eating dinner

SpooderMoon: I'm still at school

Shorty: why?

SpooderMoon: I need to study for those midterms we have 

SpooderMoon: mr Loki is here too! 

ImASnaaaake: yes, so I will eat once I get home 

Shorty: I'm working on something I'll eat later 

TryMeBeyonce: Tony. 

Shorty: alright getting food now 

ImASnaaaake: someone's whipped 

MemeGod: holy shit yeah you're like mega whipped 

Shorty: am not! 

NotCaptain: lol sure 

Shorty: wow you're one to talk 

NotCaptain: I'm not whipped!

Tony: like hell you're not!

OldMan: he's right you are really “whipped”

GreasyGayBoi: yeah more whipped than I am for Steve 

OldMan: what 

GreasyGayBoi: what 

RomanovNoodles: Oof 

Captain: I usually eat around 7 so 

RomanovNoodles: I'm eating ramen and watching a spider climb up my wall

GreasyGayBoi: shoot it

RomanovNoodles: k

HotGuy: I don't eat this early 

Scientace: same

RomanovNoodles: oh Clint how's your hearing aid? 

HotGuy: strangely it's better than when I lost it 

RomanovNoodles: hm weird 

GreasyGayBoi: I already ate

OldMan: ate what?

GreasyGayBoi: I dunno like some plums?

OldMan: you need protein! Get. Food. Now.

GreasyGayBoi: alright fine fine

MemeGod: my mother made me some food earlier

NotCaptain: once I get home I'm making a sandwich

Captain: oh where are you? 

NotCaptain: uh at Gamoras 

NotCaptain: I need to leave in a bit tho 

TryMeBeyonce: I bought a sandwich a bit ago

OldMan: that all checks out

OldMan: except for you two, Tony and Bucky!

OldMan: I'm disappointed in you two

Shorty: sooooorrrrrryyyyyyyy mom

GreasyGayBoi: here I got a sandwich 

GreasyGayBoi: -picture of a sandwich-

OldMan: good 

Shorty: -picture of ramen-

TryMeBeyonce: good

RomanovNoodles: oh look at the whipped boyfriends!

Shorty: I AM NOT

GreasyGayBoi: yeah Steves dating that Peggy girl, remember

OldMan: what??

OldMan: Buck

OldMan: we broke up a week ago

GreasyGayBoi: WHAT

GreasyGayBoi: yknow actually that makes sense

ImASnaaaake: Thor are you still with what's her face

ImASnaaaake: Jane

Captain: no

ImASnaaaake: oh so she dumped you

Captain: IT WAS A MUTUAL BREAKING UP

ImASnaaaake: sure

ImASnaaaake: that’s why we’re out of ice cream, isn’t it

Captain: shush :,(

ImASnaaaake: no :)

SpooderMoon: wait so who's dating who

GreasyGayBoi: lemme get out my list

GreasyGayBoi: ok so Tony was dating Pepper but they broke up

GreasyGayBoi: Thor was dating Jane but they broke up

GreasyGayBoi: Natasha has a crush on Clint and Clint likes her back

RomanovNoodles: I DO NOT

GreasyGayBoi: shush

GreasyGayBoi: Bruce likes Thor I think

Scientace: no!!!

GreasyGayBoi: Steve was dating Peggy but they broke up apparently 

GreasyGayBoi: oh also Natasha and Bruce had like a thing but it didn’t work out

GreasyGayBoi: space Peter actually has a gf which is surprising 

NotCaptain: hey!

GreasyGayBoi: Loki aren’t you dating Darcy? 

ImASnaaaake: what

ImASnaaaake: oh no we’re just friends

Scientace: that’s a hellish combo if I've ever seen one

GreasyGayBoi: annnnnnnnnnd Strange and Tony are uselessly pining for each other

GreasyGayBoi: I think that’s it

TryMeBeyonce: what?

Shorty: hey wait Bucky don’t you have a crush on steve?

GreasyGayBoi: no

SpooderMoon: what about the people that aren’t in the gc

GreasyGayBoi: lemme get my other list

GreasyGayBoi: Drax and Mantis have a weird thing going on

GreasyGayBoi: no one really knows what they're doing

GreasyGayBoi: Scott and Hope got together surprisingly 

GreasyGayBoi: Wanda and Vision are dating and it's gross

MemeGod: how is it gross

Bucky: they kiss in the hallways all the time 

ImASnaaaake: d I s c u s t a n g

Captain: I hate to interrupt this...enlightening discussion but

Captain: theres a dick on my stomach??

RomanovNoodles: WOAH

NotCaptain: HOW TF

MemeGod: IS IT BRUCES 

Scientace: OH MY GOD STOP

SpooderMoon: mr Loki I can hear snickering 

ImASnaaaake: I have no idea what you're talking about

Scientace: this was your doing, wasn’t it

ImASnaaaake: I hAvE nO iDEa WhAt yOUrE tAlKINg aBOut

Scientace: Loki where are you right now

ImASnaaaake: oh god oh fuck

SpooderMoon: f

Shorty: f

RomanovNoodles: f

HotGuy: f

GreasyGayBoi: f

MemeGod: f

NotCaptain: f

TryMeBeyonce: f

ImASnaaaake: I CAN HEAR HIM RUNNING UPSTAIRS 

ImASnaaaake: HOW DOES HE KNOW WHERE I AM

NotCaptain: wait wait wait a second

NotCaptain: Thor 

NotCaptain: what do you mean by theres a dick on your stomach

Captain: -a picture of a tanline on his stomach that resembles a dick- 

NotCaptain: Loki how??

ImASnaaaake: well a banana and two bottle caps can do wonders 

NotCaptain: shit that’s hilarious 

ImASnaaaake: why thank you

ImASnaaaake: I can hear bruce getting closer I'm about to die

SpooderMoon: we stan a protective  
boyfriend!

MemeGod: lmao Rip

ImASnaaaake: the fucking windows are locked fucking fuck

MemeGod: good luuuuuck

Scientace: choose your next words carefully

Scientace: as they may be your last 

ImASnaaaake: fuck your chikcned strips

ImASnaaaake: sh8i4eroa;tbfnsntuv

ImASnaaaake: vruwasih23Uewud

ImASnaaaake has gone offline

MemeGod: oh my fucking god he fucking dead

Captain: I'm kind of concerned 

Captain: should I go check on him

Bruce: no he's fine

SpooderMoon: mr Bruce just fucking decked him

Bruce: hes fine :>

RomanovNoodles: Bruce you good?

Bruce: yeah I am now

Captain: thank you for standing up for me Bruce

Scientace: oh yeah it's nothing

Shorty: lol and I'm the whipped one apparently 

HotGuy: yes you are 

Shorty: I don't deck the people that play pranks on my boyfriend 

Scientace: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND 

NotCaptain: ok everyone's whipped we've established that

MemeGod: I'm not whipped!

Scientace: you just haven’t found the right person yet

MemeGod: fair

SpooderMoon: I don’t even know what I am

Shorty: you're a spider

Parker: wow thanks :,)

ImASnaaaake: oh my god 

OldMan: when did you get back

ImASnaaaake: literally just now 

ImASnaaaake: and I'm really shookith right now

SpooderMoon: ooooooo what happened

Captain: yes! Spill the tea brother

ImASnaaaake: so yknow how I just got fucking decked

ImASnaaaake: and actually my arm hurts even more now

Scientace: HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT IM SO SORRY

ImASnaaaake: it's ok 

Scientace: NO ITS NOT IM GONNA BUY YOU SOME NAIL POLISH IM SORRY

ImASnaaaake: it's fine! I'm used to it 

Scientace: NO

ImASnaaaake: I was telling a story and you interrupted me 

ImASnaaaake: rude 

ImASnaaaake: anyway so this other dude walks into the library right I guess because he heard the sound of someone getting punched

ImASnaaaake: and he's really fucking hot

ImASnaaaake: cheekbones that could grate cheese

ImASnaaaake: anyway he found me yknow sprawled out on the ground

ImASnaaaake: then he reaches out and helps me up 

ImASnaaaake: and I'm speechless cuz yknow gay

ImASnaaaake: he just goes "I'm Ramami. You're Loki, right? It's nice to meet you." 

ImASnaaaake: and I just nod then he leaves 

ImASnaaaake: but but but 

ImASnaaaake: he gave me his number 

Scientace: wow

Thor: I'm happy for you!

SpooderMoon: yes!! Good job! 

GreasyGayBoi: I'll add it to the list 

ImASnaaaake: lol nice I'm gonna go home now 

ImASnaaaake has gone offline

Captain: alright I'll see you soon! 

Captain has gone offline

SpooderMoon: guess its time for us to disperse, huh

MemeGod: suppose so

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so for the next around three weeks I'm really busy so I probably won't be able to post as much so sorry!
> 
> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay gay gay gay gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to write bucky at all I'm sorry-

The Gayvengers assemble  
3:55 am

GreasyGayBoi: yo Steve I doubt you're awake but hey

GreasyGayBoi: I can't sleep at all 

GreasyGayBoi: because I can't stop thinking about how 

GreasyGayBoi: I like you a lot 

GreasyGayBoi: but you're probably straight 

GreasyGayBoi: anyway I've had a crush on you since we met

GreasyGayBoi: and you were always so nice and sweet and accepting about my sexuality 

GreasyGayBoi: so that made it worse

GreasyGayBoi: and this probably is going to ruin our friendship but I 

GreasyGayBoi: I just had to tell you 

GreasyGayBoi: OH SHIT

GreasyGayBoi: THIS ISNT THE DMS

ImASnaaaake: FINALLY

ImASnaaaake: IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH 

RomanovNoodles: HELL YEAH 

RomanovNoodles: WERE GONNA HAVE MORE GAY UP IN THIS JOINT 

Captain: @OldMan 

Captain: I think the soldier of winter wants to talk to you!

GreasyGayBoi: NONONOBONO

GreasyGayBoi: THOR STOP

Captain: what did I do?

Captain: you wanted to talk to him, didn't you? 

OldMan: w 

OldMan: oh my gosh 

OldMan: buck

OldMan: dm me

ImASnaaaake: you got this 

Shorty: wow Loki being supportive 

Shorty: I never thought I'd see the day 

ImASnaaaake: stfu I can literally step on you you short ass mother fucker

Shorty: snake ass evil greasy secretly loves all of us motherfucker 

ImASnaaaake: you take that back  
\----------------  
Stevie to: Bucky  
4:00 am 

Stevie: alright so 

Stevie: you actually like me? 

Stevie: like 'want to date' kind of like??

Stevie: like 'be my boyfriend' kind of like??? 

Bucky: I 

Bucky: this was a mistake

Bucky: I shouldn't have said anything 

Bucky: I need to go 

Stevie: wait 

Stevie: wait buck

Stevie: hang on 

Bucky: I'm sorry 

Bucky has gone offline  
\-----------------------------------

The gayvengers assemble  
4:05 am

OldMan: SHIT FUCK ASS AND CHEESE 

Shorty: wow watch your language 

OldMan: TONY THIS ISNT A JOKING MATTER 

OldMan: I NEED YOUR GUYS HELP

OldMan: I have to talk to Bucky but he's gone offline and I have no other way of contacting him 

OldMan: I can't go to his house because I don't have a car

OldMan: please someone has to help me 

Shorty: ...

Shorty: ok then 

Shorty: yolo amirite 

SpooderMoon: ?? 

Shorty: eggs Benedict you go grab the keys 

SpooderMoon: OMG YOU GUYS HAVE NICKNAMES

Shorty: wtf why are you awake

SpooderMoon: the chat was popping

Shorty: go to bed or I'm telling your aunt 

SpooderMoon: :,(

TryMeBeyonce: Tony I told you to stop calling me that 

TryMeBeyonce: also yeah I've already gotten them 

OldMan: what 

OldMan: what are you guys doing 

Shorty: we're saving you, idiot 

Shorty: we're letting you go and live your gay fantasies 

TryMeBeyonce: I'm in the car hurry up 

Shorty: yeah yeah

Shorty: who else wants to come 

RomanovNoodles: alright I can give moral support 

RomanovNoodles: be there in a minute I'm already omw 

MemeGod: texting and driving is dangerous :/

RomanovNoodles: I'm running. 

HotGuy: wow 

Shorty: holy shit that did take only a minute 

RomanovNoodles: why are you even surprised at this point 

TryMeBeyonce: Steve we're here 

TryMeBeyonce: get in

OldMan: thank you guys so much 

OldMan: wait that was really fast 

OldMan: how many red lights did you run 

RomanovNoodles: idk like 4 

Captain: that's not very good 

RomanovNoodles: hush

OldMan: stop texting you're driving 

Shorty: I can text 

OldMan: true 

OldMan: alright guys we're here 

Captain: good luck!  
\-----------------------------------  
Stevie to: Bucky  
4:15 am 

Stevie: Bucky 

Stevie: I know you're in there 

Stevie: don't make me break your door down 

Bucky: go away 

Bucky: I don't wanna talk 

Stevie: buck 

Stevie: come on

Stevie: can we please just 

Bucky: no 

Bucky: this was a mistake just go away and forget this happened 

Stevie: why are you assuming I don't like you back? 

Bucky: cuz you're like straight! 

Bucky: and you liked Peggy and you always left me for her

Bucky: but it's fine yknow cuz I had Sam

Bucky: but god 

Bucky: I guess I'm just gonna be alone forever that's fine

Bucky: my family doesn't accept me bcuz I'm gay and I have this stupid metal arm and I'm an outcast

Bucky: but it's always been fine

Bucky: cuz I had you 

Bucky: but now I'm gonna loose you too but it's ok cuz it's always fucking ok 

Stevie: buck

Stevie: I'm so sorry I didn't know that you felt that way 

Bucky: please just forget this 

Stevie: hang on

Stevie: this is going to take me a bit 

Stevie: I like you too. I like you a lot, honestly. But at the same time, I knew I liked girls. I didn't know what being bi was so I was really confused. But I knew I liked you since day one

Stevie: I didn't want to say anything because I was scared that you didn't feel the same way 

Stevie: so I'm sorry 

Bucky: are you shitting me 

Bucky: I waited so long to tell you and it was for nothing 

Bucky: it was just the two of us being dumbasses 

Bucky: really

Stevie: really 

Bucky: that's

Bucky: that's typical 

Stevie: I didn't know you felt that way 

Stevie: if me hanging out with Peggy bothers you I can stop

Bucky: nonono 

Bucky: it's fine

Bucky: that was just me being a dramatic bitch 

Stevie: no 

Stevie: your feelings are important too 

Bucky: oh that's wack 

Stevie: I can hear you crying 

Bucky: no you can't 

Stevie: wait 

Stevie: wait are we dating now 

Bucky: I mean if you want to 

Stevie: HELL YES

Bucky: YES

Stevie: YES

Stevie: are we going tell the group chat 

Bucky: I don't think they'd be able to wait

Stevie: I 

Stevie: oh what's the abbreviation peter and shuri use

Stevie: oh right it's ily

Stevie: ily Bucky 

Bucky: didhhsshhcbj

Bucky: ily Stevie  
\-----------------------------------  
The gayvengers assemble  
4:30 am

GreasyGayBoi: I have a boyfriend y'all 

OldMan: <3

Shorty: I'm happy for you two

OldMan: tony are you alright with this

Shorty: oh yeah duh 

Shorty: you've been pining for him for like forever 

Shorty: and we broke up like two years ago it's cool

SpooderMoon: wait wh a t

Shorty: why are you awake?!

SpooderMoon: are we seriously having this discussion again

Shorty: go to bed 

SpooderMoon: >:(

SpooderMoon: fine 

SpooderMoon has gone offline 

Shorty: but yeah I'm happy for you 

GreasyGayBoi: I forgot to add that one to the list hang on 

OldMan: Thank you tony 

GreasyGayBoi: It's been added and now I'm gonna go to sleep 

OldMan: alright goodnight Bucky <3

GreasyGayBoi: gn Steve <3

Shorty: thanks Stephen for driving us 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah it's no problem 

MemeGod: something's brewing 

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the big mean grape man is coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK sorry I was gone for so long

The Gayvengers Assemble  
10:36 am

ImASnaaaake: if I were to commit a murder, but no one was around to see/hear it, is it still a crime 

SpooderMoon: U M YES 

Captain: ok this time I'll allow it 

Captain: only this time, though 

OldMan: WHAT

HotGuy: wait wait wait wait 

HotGuy: what the hell happened 

ImASnaaaake: I have not committed a homicide 

MemeGod: that's...pretty suspicious 

ImASnaaaake: I haven't yet 

Shorty: there it is 

OldMan: alright explain. Now. 

ImASnaaaake: ok so you know how Mr. Thanos 'confiscated' Quills stone 

NotCaptain: oh yeah, I still haven't gotten that back btw

GreasyGayBoi: we're working on it, dw

GreasyGayBoi: give us like ehh

GreasyGayBoi: two more days? 

NotCaptain: alright 

OldMan: oh Bucky! I didn't realize you were awake! 

OldMan: good morning <3

GreasyGayBoi: gm Steve <3

SpooderMoon: aw so sweet 

NotCaptain: bleh gross 

NotCaptain: Anyway Loki what does my stone have to do with this 

ImASnaaaake: well

ImASnaaaake: do you guys remember that I have one too 

Scientace: yeah

ImASnaaaake: Mr. grape fucker stole it today. So now I want to stab him. It's simple, honestly. 

Scientace: oh ok then, we'll get yours back too 

ImASnaaaake: it's different. It's not like Quills stone, where we could just grab it. He won't let us get it back. 

TryMeBeyonce: you don't know that. What makes you so sure? 

ImASnaaaake: he told me something 

ImASnaaaake: he told me that he'd kill Thor if I didn't give it to him

MemeGod: WHAT

SpooderMoon: oh my god

RomanovNoodles: wait seriously 

ImASnaaaake: so yeah, I doubt we'll be able to get it back.

TryMeBeyonce: it could've been just a threat. I don't think he'd actually kill him

ImASnaaaake: he wasn't lying. I could tell. 

Scientace: isn't that illegal 

Scientace: shouldn't we call the police 

HotGuy: would they even believe us 

RomanovNoodles: I mean true

RomanovNoodles: we are just a bunch of high schoolers 

HotGuy: and Mr. Thanos is...Yknow...Thanos 

Shorty: what exactly did he say to you, Loki?

ImASnaaaake: "your stone or your brothers head. It's up to you"

NotCaptain: holy shit wtf

ImASnaaaake: so yaaay

SpooderMoon: shouldn't you tell your parents 

Captain: I mean

Captain: yes we should

SpooderMoon: well then have you???

Captain: it's complicated???? 

MemeGod: well your life was just threatened 

MemeGod: I think you should probably definitely tell them 

Captain: father is on a business trip

Captain: I would hate to disturb him 

NotCaptain: what about your mom? 

Captain: oh she

Captain: she uh 

ImASnaaaake: she passed a few years ago. 

NotCaptain: oh shit 

SpooderMoon: oh I'm so sorry 

ImASnaaaake: it's fine.

Shorty: why is he doing this, I wonder 

OldMan: I don't know 

OldMan: but whoever has a stone should definitely protect it

TryMeBeyonce: I'll keep it in mind  
\-----------------------------------  
Bruce to: Thor  
11:00 am 

Bruce: you know full well that your dad isn't on a business trip

Thor: I don't want to worry them 

Bruce: I think we deserve to be told the truth 

Thor: it doesn't concern you

Bruce: let us help!

Thor: we don't need help 

Thor: if anything happens, I will be sure to let you know 

Bruce: well something happened Thor

Bruce: and you don't seem intent on telling us 

Thor: we did?? 

Thor: we told you that I was threatened? 

Bruce: you know that's not what I'm talking about 

Thor: what 

Bruce: you know what 

Thor: are you talking about last night??

Thor: how do you know about that?

Bruce: I was working late in the lab. I saw him but he didn't see me

Bruce: I was about to stop him before you came

Thor: I 

Bruce: Something happened, Thor 

Bruce: and you didn't tell any of us 

Thor: that is private. I do not need to tell you everything about our personal lives. 

Bruce: I just think you should've told us

Bruce: so that we could help him

Thor: I do not intend on 'outting' my brother like that 

Thor: and I hope you feel the same 

Bruce: I'm not gonna tell them. But you should 

Thor: not yet. Not now. 

Bruce: alright 

Bruce: also if Mr. Thanos even touches you 

Bruce: let me know. 

Thor: I will  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers assemble  
11:07 am 

OldMan: if anything happens

OldMan: like if Mr. Thanos or someone else hurts any of you 

OldMan: you know who to call 

SpooderMoon: ghost busters?

ImASnaaaake: we will keep that in mind, even though I doubt we will need your help 

ImASnaaaake: but thank you 

MemeGod: THERES SOMETHING STRANGE

MemeGod: IN OUR HIGHSCHOOL

MemeGod: WHO YOU GONNA CALL

SpooderMoon: A-VENGERS 

NotCaptain: YESSSSS

NotCaptain: I have found my people 

ImASnaaaake: uh ok 

ImASnaaaake: now, if you'll excuse me

ImASnaaaake: I am going to not try and stab Mr. Thanos 

ImASnaaaake has gone offline 

Shorty: should we stop him

RomanovNoodles: nah 

Shorty: I agree 

HotGuy: what if we get questioned??

NotCaptain: what

HotGuy: I mean when Thanos gets murdered we'll be suspects 

NotCaptain: oh shit you're right 

Captain: I doubt my brother would actually murder him 

GreasyGayBoi: are you sure about that 

Captain: yes, actually! 

OldMan: I mean he's pretty unpredictable 

Captain: why does it feel like you guys are blaming him for being mad 

Scientace: that's not our intention, believe me 

SpooderMoon: guys let's not fight 

OldMan: Peters right

NotCaptain: huh?

OldMan: other peter

NotCaptain: oh

OldMan: let's just 

OldMan: let's just go to someone's house and put on some Disney movies 

RomanovNoodles: yeah ok 

Shorty: who's house

SpooderMoon: wait but we have class 

SpooderMoon: schools not out yet right??

RomanovNoodles: oh yeah we're skipping

HotGuy: you can join us if you want 

SpooderMoon: alright!

NotCaptain: we can go to my house I have a TV in my basement 

Captain: excellent, Lord Of Stars! I will meet you guys there 

Shorty: alrighty 

TryMeBeyonce: what movies are we watching 

GreasyGayBoi: all the princess movies right 

OldMan: yup 

MemeGod: lion king? 

Shorty: I'll bring that one

RomanovNoodles: I'll stop at my house and see what I have 

HotGuy: yeah me too

HotGuy: I think I have Robin Hood 

SpooderMoon: ooo yeah bring that 

Scientace: I'm bringing Lilo and Stich 

MemeGod: alright well see you guys there 

Everyone has gone offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something's up with Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched FFH home today and I'm just,,,
> 
> (spoilers) MYSTERIO WHY
> 
> WHY DID YOU DO THAT

The gayvengers assemble  
4:45 pm

Shorty: pete where were you today

MemeGod: yeah I missed my meme buddy :(

Captain: man of spiders, are you alright? 

Captain: are you perhaps ill

RomanovNoodles: @SpooderMoon where you at 

OldMan: he's not responding to his phone 

OldMan: I just tried to call him 

RomanovNoodles: yeah he's not answering me either 

Captain: LOKI WHAT DID YOU DO 

ImASnaaaake: ok listen I've been in the infirmary all day today 

NotCaptain: what why

ImASnaaaake: I may or may not have tried to stab thanks 

ImASnaaaake: *thanos 

ImASnaaaake: and he may or may not have choked me in response 

RomanovNoodles: so you didn't do anything to Peter P 

ImASnaaaake: couldn't have if I tried 

ImASnaaaake: now, are you done my interrogation 

Captain: it isn't really an interrogation...

OldMan: we're done questioning you 

ImASnaaaake: bye, then. 

ImASnaaaake has gone offline 

Captain: but brother...

Shorty: shit

Shorty: Thanos is apparently 'nothing to lose sleep over' 

Shorty: still feel that way cap 

OldMan: I 

OldMan: I don't know 

Scientace: is there anything we could do 

HotGuy: I don't think we need to worry about Thanos yet 

HotGuy: that's in the future 

HotGuy: for now, we need to find out where peter fucked off to 

RomanovNoodles: Yeah I guess you're right 

OldMan: does anyone have any clues

NotCaptain: you say clues like he's missing 

OldMan: well he might be!

Captain: the best thing we can do is not panic

Scientace: he's right 

Scientace: maybe he's just sick, like Thor said 

Shorty: that kid stays on his phone all day 

Shorty: being sick would just make him be on his phone more

MemeGod: that's true 

MemeGod: then obviously HE WAS KIDNAPPED 

NotCaptain: OH SHIT YOURE RIGHT

Shorty: what

MemeGod: HE WAS KIDNAPPED WE MUST FIND HIM

NotCaptain: YEAH EXACTLY 

Shorty: alright Mr stardust and Tick Tock are on their own page 

Captain: what if he was though? 

Shorty: I swear  
\-----------------------------------  
Snek to: Spidr  
5:00 pm

Snek: you are worrying them. 

Spidr: I promise I'll be active tomorrow! I just needed a break today 

Spidr: also thanks for covering for me 

Snek: it's no problem 

Snek: However, I do not think this is a good idea 

Snek: but hey, who am I to stop you? 

Spidr: thank you sm my man 

Spidr: I appreciate you

Snek: what 

Spidr: I owe you one is what I meant

Snek: ok 

Snek: oh god they're saying that you've been kidnapped 

Spidr: shit

Spidr: uhhh

Spidr: can you make something up for me

Spidr: I'm really not in the mood to explain rn

Snek: maybe

Snek: I have lied a lot for you lately...

Spidr: ugh fine I'll get you some nail polish next time I go shopping ok 

Snek: :)

Snek: I gotchu fam

Spidr: what color nail polish

Snek: teal

Spidr: alrighty  
\-----------------------------------  
The gayvengers assemble  
5:13 pm 

ImASnaaaake: guys don't worry

ImASnaaaake: I just got off the phone with him

ImASnaaaake: he has been sick and has had a headache all day

ImASnaaaake: also he said he was going to bed after I hung up, so do not try to call him

OldMan: why should we trust you 

ImASnaaaake: why shouldn't you 

TryMeBeyonce: do you want a list 

ImASnaaaake: wow rude

Shorty: cmon you can't blame us for not trusting you

ImASnaaaake: why would I even lie about this sort of thing 

HotGuy: you just would! There doesn't need to be a reason!

OldMan: you did try to kill us all back in MS

ImASnaaaake: no correlation between then and now 

ImASnaaaake: also I was an edgy teen back then don't judge me :(

Captain: oh yes you were quite emo 

Scientace: and didn't you also have shit going on

RomanovNoodles: ooo drama?

RomanovNoodles: what kind of shit?

ImASnaaaake: gay awakening

RomanovNoodles: saaaammmeee

GreasyGayBoi: man is that when everyone had their gay awakening

OldMan: nope 

GreasyGayBoi: well duh yours was like last week 

NotCaptain: wait a second 

NotCaptain: Loki weren't you asleep a few minutes ago? 

ImASnaaaake: I woke up? 

OldMan: or are you lying about that too?! 

ImASnaaaake: really

Shorty: are you lying

ImASnaaaake: wow, how worried you are  
\-----------------------------------  
Loki to: Tony  
5:17 pm 

Loki: talk to him if you want to so badly 

Loki: you've yet to dm him, haven't you

Tony: what 

Loki: the spider boy trusts you. He'd talk to you. 

Tony: why are you suddenly doing a good thing 

Loki: I'm sick of this idiot plot 

Loki: I just want to get things moving 

Loki: and I'm bored of simply being a messenger 

Loki: so Antony 

Loki: go dm him

Tony: yeah I was gonna

Tony: thanks Loki

Tony: yknow you're pretty alright 

Loki: this means nothing. 

Loki: I'm still evil. 

Tony: sure 

Loki: I am!  
\-----------------------------------  
IronDad to: SpideySon  
5:23 pm 

IronDad: hey

IronDad: what's going on

SpideySon: HEYEYEYEYEY HEYEYEY

SpideySon: I SAID HEY

SpideySon: WHATS GOING ON

IronDad: really peter

SpideySon: oh you're being serious 

SpideySon: hey Mr. Stark

IronDad: you don't need to call me that yknow

SpideySon: oh ok 

IronDad: where were you today 

SpideySon: I wasn't feeling too hot 

SpideySon: I had a headache right

IronDad: you don't even know what's 'wrong with you'

IronDad: this was Loki's idea, wasn't it 

SpideySon: he told you?!

IronDad: I'm smart I was able to figure it out 

IronDad: but seriously what's wrong

SpideySon: ugh it's stupid

SpideySon: I kinda needed like,,a day? 

SpideySon: it sounds worse when I type it

IronDad: take your time 

SpideySon: I was just really stressed with school and all this shit and I just really needed a break

IronDad: that's not stupid

IronDad: that actually makes sense 

IronDad: why didn't you tell us 

SpideySon: well I didn't want to sound stupid and childish 

SpideySon: and I reaalllyyy didn't wanna talk in the gc 

SpideySon: I'd get bombed with questions 

IronDad: should I be worried?

SpideySon: no I'm fine 

IronDad: if anythings wrong, let me know 

SpideySon: I will! 

SpideySon: thanks

IronDad: no problem broski 

SpideySon: WHAT

IronDad: brotatochip

SpideySon: HOLY SHIT 

IronDad: what

SpideySon: you're using the words I taught you :,)

IronDad: yup

IronDad: alright, well text when you want to

IronDad: bye pete 

SpideySon: bye dad  
\-----------------------------------  
IronyMony to: AmericasAss  
5:34 pm

IronyMony: HE CALLED ME DAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PARTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop it's chaos

The gayvengers assemble   
4:23 pm

MemeGod: PARRRRTTTTYYYY WOOOOHOOOO

TryMeBeyonce: what has you so excited

MemeGod: scotts having a party tonight, remember 

Shorty: shit yeah

MemeGod: sooo??? That's why!!1!1

GreasyGayBoi: oh yeah

GreasyGayBoi: it's your first party

MemeGod: YUP

OldMan: be careful kid. The booze Thor and Loki usually bring is pretty strong

MemeGod: you guys are only in your second year of high school how do you know 

OldMan: Scott held three parties last year

GreasyGayBoi: and every time it was complete chaos

GreasyGayBoi: because of the alcohol 

Shorty: the first one was the worst

Scientace: they call it initiation 

MemeGod: shit that seems epic

SpooderMoon: how did they get access to alcohol tho

SpooderMoon: aren't we all underage 

Captain: Loki is good at lying 

ImASnaaaake: indeed

SpooderMoon: ohhhhhh

SpooderMoon: yeah why didn't I think of that 

MemeGod: OH WAIT PETER YOURE BACK

OldMan: thank god I was worried something happened 

SpooderMoon: oh no nothing happened 

SpooderMoon: just a headache, yknow

TryMeBeyonce: anyway about the party 

TryMeBeyonce: you new kids should prepare yourselves 

TryMeBeyonce: if last year was any indication, things can get pretty crazy 

RomanovNoodles: welcome to initiation.   
\-----------------------------------  
OhShit to: ARat  
4:30 pm

OhShit: Shurrrriiii

OhShit: are we gonna die

OhShit: they were acting pretty scary :(

ARat: I am sure it's nothing peter

ARat: T'challa went last year and he didn't die 

OhShit: there's a very big difference between 'was fine' and 'didn't die'

ARat: we'll be finnnneeeee

ARat: Tony would definitely protect you if it came down to that 

OhShit: is T'challa coming this year

ARat: I think everyone is coming 

OhShit: well then your bro will protect you

ARat: he better!!

OhShit: should we be panicking 

ARat: no

ARat: I don't think so 

ARat: ugh 

ARat: do you want me to grab the bob guns 

OhShit: the hell is a bob gun

ARat: BB gun I hate you autocorrect 

OhShit: sjdjshdjdjjf

OhShit: yeah bring them just in case 

ARat: well I am going to go get changed before we leave

OhShit: alrighty bye   
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble   
5:20

OldMan: roll call who's coming

Shorty: yup

RomanovNoodles: totally

HotGuy: wouldn't miss it

Captain: I am bringing drinks once again!

ImASnaaaake: as am I 

Scientace: yeah sure I'm coming

GreasyGayBoi: Steve I need a ride 

OldMan: gotcha buck 

NotCaptain: me, Gamora, Rocket, Mantis, and Drax are all coming 

TryMeBeyonce: Wanda and I are coming 

TryMeBeyonce: along with her brother 

Shorty: ooo do you and Wanda have a thing

TryMeBeyonce: what?? No

TryMeBeyonce: she's dating Vision and even if she weren't 

TryMeBeyonce: I lean more towards dudes

Shorty: oh ok 

Shorty: I was just checking 

OldMan: lol sureeee

Shorty: shut up americasAss

OldMan: brush

OldMan: *bruh

SpooderMoon: FJDHSHSHA WHAT

MemeGod: AND I OOP-

Captain: I'm assuming you two are joining us as well

MemeGod: duh

SpooderMoon: obviously 

OldMan: anyone need a ride besides Bucky 

RomanovNoodles: I was planning on running but sure

OldMan: great

Scientace: Thor I can pick up you and Loki 

Captain: thank you Bruce!

NotCaptain: then I guess we'll see you all there 

Shorty: mhm

SpooderMoon: yup

MemeGod: we're already on our way

RomanovNoodles: thx for picking me up Steve 

OldMan: it's no problem 

Captain: see you guys!  
\-----------------------------------  
CaptainAmerica to: ImABirdMotherfucker  
5:45 pm

CaptainAmerica: it's at the same place as last year right 

ImABirdMotherfucker: bro houses don't just move 

CaptainAmerica: I was just checking jeeez

ImABirdMotherfucker: yup it's...

ImABirdMotherfucker: on your left

CaptainAmerica: oh fuck off 

ImABirdMotherfucker: also watch your language 

CaptainAmerica: really Sam 

ImABirdMotherFucker: ahaha yup  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble  
7:28 pm

MemeGod: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

HotGuy: wydm

MemeGod: WHY ARE YOU IN THE VENTS

HotGuy: I don't know help

MemeGod: are you stuck

HotGuy: maybe 

HotGuy: I just appeared here

MemeGod: how did you even 

SpooderMoon: THIS BITCH EMPTY 

SpooderMoon: YEET

OldMan: DID YOU JUST FUCKING YEET ROCKET

Shorty: did you just fucking say fucking 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah watching your fucking language 

MemeGod: IM GETTING ANOTHER DRIIIIIIIIIINK 

Captain: SHURRRRIIII NO

HotGuy: WHATS GOING ON DOWN THERE

MemeGod: lool lookii is a giggly durk omfg

RomanovNoodles: W A HT

RomanovNoodles: I need to record this and get some dirt on him 

Captain: didic you gusy u not knwod thdi 

RomanovNoodles: w a h t 

SpooderMoon: did you guys not know this

RomanovNoodles: ohhh

Scientace: of fucking course we wouldn't know he's never been to one of our parties before you stupid weak armed bitch

Shorty: WOA

Captain: brucellosis?...

ImASnaaaake: pardonmnnnnn??

NotCaptain: Bruce bro you just made a whole ass man cry 

MemeGod: lol lit

Shorty: P

Shorty: PETER WHAT ARE YOU DOING

SpooderMoon: DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A SPIDER GETS ANGRY

SpooderMoon: IT GETS DRIVEN UP THE FUCKING WALLLLLLLLLLLSS

Shorty: oh lord I'm so scared

HotGuy: how in the everloving fuck is he able to climb the walls

GreasyGayBoi: uh oh 

OldMan: wait a secondd

OldMan: where did dr and tony go 

ImASnaaaake: awwww

ImASnaaaake: thwtey kissingvv its avoralve 

ImASnaaaake: aididjdjfjhffjfjfhhffh

Captain: BRUCE PUT DOWN MY BROTJERT AT ONCE

MemeGod: NATADHA WHAT ARE YOY DOJMG

MemeGod: HWY ARE YOU JUST SITITJG

RomanovNoodles: I'm the designated driver

RomanovNoodles: so I'm just watching the action from afar

OldMan: did Loki say that strange and tony were kissing 

OldMan: are they gonna fondueee

RomanovNoodles: lol prob

RomanovNoodles: ooo Loki and the grandmaster are GETTING IT

RomanovNoodles: oh hey clintyttttkfkdkfkdkc

OldMan: WHY IS THERE SCREAMING

OldMan: OH SITJ IS FHAT THE POLICA

ImASnaaaake: FUCK DA POLICE 

Shorty: FUCK DA POLICE

Captain: FUCK DA POLICE

RomanovNoodles: we bout to gooo  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble   
9:12 am

Shorty: I wanna fucking die

TryMeBeyonce: hangovers are a bitch

Shorty: wait wait wait a second

Shorty: why are we naked 

Shorty: and alone 

TryMeBeyonce: oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to a party before and it shows

The Gayvengers Assemble  
9:30 am

MemeGod: what the hell happened last night 

Scientace: I don't remember anything

MemeGod: my head hurts what the fuck

Scientace: me too

Scientace: I probably drank way too much

MemeGod: I didn't kill anyone did I 

NotCaptain: I don't think so 

NotCaptain: OMFG

NotCaptain: @TryMeBeyonce @Shorty

NotCaptain: GET A FUCKING ROOM

MemeGod: KAJSJAHSJDJD

MemeGod: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Captain: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? What is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MemeGod: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Captain: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ImASnaaaake: oh god it's spreading 

MemeGod: MWUAHAHAHAH

MemeGod: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ImASnaaaake: I am concerned 

RomanovNoodles: Stop spamming Lennys I swear 

RomanovNoodles: where is everyone so we can go home together 

OldMan: wait you weren't even going bring a car how did you become the designated driver

Captain: and we all went in different cars. What are we going to do with our cars? 

RomanovNoodles: I talked to Scott you guys can leave your cars at his place and pick them up later 

OldMan: when did you do that? 

RomanovNoodles: idk like a few hours ago 

RomanovNoodles: oh my god STEPHEN TONY PUT SOME PANTS ON

Shorty: GET OUT

TryMeBeyonce: WHERE DID OUR PANTS EVEN GO

ImASnaaaake: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ImASnaaaake: I'm in a bathtub and my phone was open to a video of how to get hypnotized to turn into a cow 

ImASnaaaake: I'm pretty sure it's a sexual thing but the chance that it may be entirely non sexual scares me 

ImASnaaaake: did I do anything embarrassing last night

RomanovNoodles: idfk you became soft

ImASnaaaake: great. 

RomanovNoodles: Also you and the grandmaster were GETTING IT 

ImASnaaaake: oh yeah that's nothing new

MemeGod: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

OldMan: you also decided to tell me all about how much you love Thor 

OldMan: so that was sweet! 

ImASnaaaake: I DID W H A T

ImASnaaaake has gone offline 

MemeGod: lol he's an idiot we all knew 

GreasyGayBoi: wait wait wait a second 

GreasyGayBoi: Shuri why are you and peter on the roof 

MemeGod: oh shit

MemeGod: how did we get up here

Scientace: oh no

GreasyGayBoi: oh fuck 

MemeGod: what?

OldMan: language Bucky <3

NotCaptain: nasty 

RomanovNoodles: leeeetttssss just go home 

RomanovNoodles: are you ready guys 

MemeGod: AYE AYE CAPTAIN 

NotCaptain: I CANT HEAR YOUUUUUUU

MemeGod: A Y E A Y E C A P T A I N

NotCaptain: OOOOOOOOOOO

TryMeBeyonce: Shut the fuck up

Everyone has gone offline  
\-----------------------------------  
Bruce to: Thor  
1:23 pm 

Bruce: hey Thor? 

Thor: what 

Bruce: this could just be me overreacting but 

Bruce: have you been avoiding me today? 

Thor: I

Thor: maybe? 

Thor: do you remember anything that happened last night?

Bruce: no

Bruce: did something happen

Bruce: wait...

Bruce: he got out again, didn't he

Thor: what?

Bruce: oh my god 

Bruce: shit 

Bruce: Thor I'm so sorry

Thor: what???

Bruce: what did he do 

Thor: uh..

Thor: "he" was really mean 

Thor: and aggressive 

Thor: and "he" grabbed Loki and threw him to the ground 

Thor: multiple times 

Bruce: oh no...

Bruce: I 

Bruce: shit

Bruce: Thor I...

Thor: what do you mean "he"?

Thor: who is "he"? 

Bruce: it's hard to explain

Bruce: I don't even know if I can explain 

Thor: it's ok, take as much time as you need 

Bruce: alright 

Bruce: well, one time like a year ago 

Bruce: I tried to

Bruce: I can't 

Thor: what? 

Bruce: I'm sorry Thor

Bruce: I can't right now I just 

Bruce: I'll work on keeping him under control from now on

Thor: Bruce?

Bruce: I have to go

Bruce: thank you for making me aware of this 

Thor: wait what 

Bruce has gone offline  
\-----------------------------------  
OhShit to: ARat  
2:45 pm

OhShit: Shuri

ARat: yo wassup

OhShit: I feel really weird

ARat: puberty 

OhShit: no it's not that

OhShit: last night 

OhShit: shuri last night I WAS ABLE TO CLIMB WALLS

ARat: yeah...

ARat: that is not pretty concerning 

ARat: maybe it's

OhShit: what? What is it? 

ARat: maybe it was that spider bite? 

OhShit: oh shit 

OhShit: it probably was the spider bite, wasn't it 

OhShit: oh no 

OhShit: oh my god 

OhShit: I

OhShit: oh my god

ARat: hey peter calm down 

ARat: just breathe

ARat: it's gonna be ok 

ARat: I'm sure it was nothing 

OhShit: it wasn't any normal spider tho!!

OhShit: IT WAS A FUCKING GENETICALLY MODIFIED SPIDER

ARat: well hey, you didn't die

OhShit: yeah that's true 

OhShit: OHMIGOD SHURI

ARat: what

OhShit: I FUCKING BROKE DOWN MY DOOR

ARat: W H A T

ARat: HANG ON ILL BE THERE SOON

Everyone has gone offline  
\-----------------------------------  
DoucheBag to: Asshole  
4:32 pm

Douchebag: so 

Douchebag: last night 

Douchebag: you wanna talk or do you wanna keep ignoring each other 

Douchebag: I'm fine either way tbh just wanted to clarify 

Asshole: ugh Tony 

Asshole: what is there to talk about 

Douchebag: UH

Douchebag: I KINDA LOST MY VIRGINITY TO YOU ASSHOLE

Asshole: *your asshole

Douchebag: OH MY GOD

Asshole: anyway yeah, that was my first time too

Asshole: but Tony 

Asshole: we were drunk and stupid

Asshole: it doesn't mean anything 

Douchebag: wow 

Douchebag: woooooow

Douchebag: yeah I should've expected this 

Douchebag: of course Gandalf doesn't give a fuck

Asshole: it's not like I don't give a fuck 

Asshole: I just 

Douchebag: oh really?

Douchebag: Cuz it definitely seems like it 

Asshole: well what? 

Asshole: what do you want 

Asshole: do you want this to be a thing 

Douchebag: I mean maybe I do 

Douchebag: you wanna go 

Asshole: hell yeah let's go

Douchebag: fuck you then let's go on a date 

Asshole: yeah let's fucking go on a date 

Douchebag: meet you at Starbucks tomorrow 2:00 asshole 

Asshole: I'll look forward to it douchebag  
\-----------------------------------  
IronyMony to: AmericasAss  
4:40 pm 

IronyMony: I am so confused right now 

AmericasAss: explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plush unicorn, a bowl of whipped cream, and a metal gauntlet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this chapter from a random object generator skskks

The Gayvengers Assemble  
8:26 pm 

Shorty: WHERE

Shorty: IS

Shorty: SNUFFLES 

OldMan: excuse me 

Shorty: I SAID WHAT I SAID

Shorty: I SAID WHAT I MEANT? 

Shorty: I MEANT WHAT I SAID?

Shorty: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

NotCaptain: uhhhh

NotCaptain: I am beyond confused 

Captain: man of iron, are you alright? 

Shorty: just fine why do you ask 

Shorty: except

Shorty: SOMEONE FUCKING STOLE SNUFFLES 

RomanovNoodles: who did it 

Scientace: you and tony are working together?

RomanovNoodles: yeah 

ImASnaaaake: the hell is a snuffles 

MemeGod: ffs 

MemeGod: stop spamming about your snuffles

MemeGod: what even is it 

SpooderMoon: yeah what's a snuffles

Shorty: SNUFFLES

Shorty: IS

Shorty: MY 

Shorty: FUCKING

Shorty: UNICORN

GreasyGayBoi: ooooh

NotCaptain: your what now 

Shorty: MY UNICORN

MemeGod: he's officially lost it 

Shorty: YEAH I DID

Shorty: WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK IT

SpooderMoon: your...sanity?

Shorty: N O 

Shorty: SNUFFLES

SpooderMoon: you should lie down 

Shorty: L O K I

ImASnaaaake: what 

Shorty: YOURE ACTING SUSPICIOUS

ImASnaaaake: ?????

ImASnaaaake: SINCE W H E N

OldMan: oh my gosh Tony 

Shorty: DID YOU TAKE SNUFFLES

ImASnaaaake: no??

ImASnaaaake: are you ok 

Shorty: heh

Shorty: that's alright

Shorty: we have ways to make people talk 

ImASnaaaake: uh????

Shorty: come over to my house 

RomanovNoodles: or we'll make you 

ImASnaaaake: pardon??????????

Scientace: Nat really

Scientace: why 

RomanovNoodles: because 

RomanovNoodles: snuffles is missing 

RomanovNoodles: this calls for desperate measures 

RomanovNoodles: Loki you better come over to Tony's house 

ImASnaaaake: alright fine 

ImASnaaaake: I'll come over in like five minutes 

ImASnaaaake: Spiderling if I die 

ImASnaaaake: you get my helmet 

SpooderMoon: thanks! 

Captain: what do I get 

ImASnaaaake: idk like a dollar

Captain: :(

ImASnaaaake: f i n e 

ImASnaaaake: five dollars 

Captain: :)

MemeGod: don't die 

Shorty: I'll see you shortly 

MemeGod: Lol SHORTly

RomanovNoodles and two others have gone offline 

HotGuy: oh he lost snuffles again didn't he 

MemeGod: this is normal???

Scientace: one time he interrogated us with a flash light 

Scientace: when in reality snuffles was just under his bed

TryMeBeyonce: a...plush unicorn...

HotGuy: he's never truly lost lost it tho 

HotGuy: this is a first 

SpooderMoon: omg 

SpooderMoon: I need to meet snuffles 

NotCaptain: oh shit 

NotCaptain: YO

NotCaptain: OH MY GOD YO

Captain: what is it 

NotCaptain: you guys aren't watching the news, are you

GreasyGayBoi: pft no who does that 

MemeGod: "yesterday an unidentified individual murdered 10 people

MemeGod: "the people were a part of a group of LOTR fans. They call themselves the dwarves 

MemeGod: "the dwarves are good at making things. We suspect the individual killed them to get someone else to build something for them 

MemeGod: "the individual was spotted entering the building with nothing 

MemeGod: "but leaving with a metal gauntlet 

Scientace: WHAT

Captain: wait

Captain: I am familiar with that group

Captain: they made my hammer 

OldMan: what the hell

OldMan: there was a massacre?!

HotGuy: I wouldn't really call that a massacre 

OldMan: 10 PEOPLE DIED

SpooderMoon: omg omg omg

MemeGod: yeah this ain't good

Scientace: what do we do

Captain: what can we do 

OldMan: um

OldMan: I think the best way to handle this is to stay out of trouble

MemeGod: bi t ch have you met us

OldMan: I know this will be difficult for you

HotGuy: jsjdjs

TryMeBeyonce: so what? We just do nothing?

OldMan: yes

OldMan: if anything happens, let us know

OldMan: but don't go looking for this culprit 

TryMeBeyonce: well of course

TryMeBeyonce: we're not stupid

NotCaptain: sorry have you met us 

TryMeBeyonce: *I'm not stupid

HotGuy: I mean...

HotGuy: accurate 

Captain: oh I get it

Captain: because...you're accurate when it comes to shooting..

Captain: ha...

HotGuy: you tried

OldMan: uh anyway 

OldMan: don't let this eat at you guys 

Captain: I agree with Steve 

SpooderMoon: yeah, me too

GreasyGayBoi: he's right

GreasyGayBoi: we just have to do nothing 

ImASnaaaake: FOR FUCKS SAKE

ImASnaaaake: STEPHEN GET YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND UNDER CONTROL

TryMeBeyonce: he's not my boyfriend 

ImASnaaaake: also I heard about the murder thing 

ImASnaaaake: not good 

Shorty: yeah no shit Sherlock 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah no shit Sherlock 

SpooderMoon: did you find snuffles

Shorty: no

Shorty: but we did find out Loki is innocent 

ImASnaaaake: HE PUT MY FACE IN A BOWL OF WHIPPED CREAM

Captain: classic

RomanovNoodles: whhaaat it was funny 

ImASnaaaake: it was torture 

ImASnaaaake: you bicth 

RomanovNoodles: lol you can't even spell

ImASnaaaake: YES BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING WHIPPED CREAM IN MY EYES

SpooderMoon: she is a bitch

SpooderMoon: b i c t 

MemeGod: ~H~

OldMan: what 

Captain: what 

Shorty: ugh we're getting old 

NotCaptain: we're one year older than them stfu 

Shorty: BUT STILL

Shorty: I DONT KNOW WHERE SNUFFLES IS

ImASnaaaake: really

ImASnaaaake: I thought you were smarter than this

ImASnaaaake: it's with the collector obvs

RomanovNoodles: you went through an entire whipped cream punishment without telling us that

ImASnaaaake: well I couldn't really talk BECAUSE I WAS DROWNING IN WHIPPED CREAM

RomanovNoodles: you were not drowning you overdramatic bitch

TryMeBeyonce: how much whipped cream do you even have to spare

Shorty: this happens way too often so we just buy like 5 cans every time we go shopping 

ImASnaaaake: eugh I can still taste it

Captain: brother father is not home if you want to take a shower 

ImASnaaaake: oh shit yeah

NotCaptain: I'm just

NotCaptain: w h y 

Shorty: b e c a u s e 

Shorty: tomorrow I'm gonna talk to the collector about snuffles 

TryMeBeyonce: yeah you do that

NotCaptain: don't torture any of us anymore

SpooderMoon: I hope you find him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bagel bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I change some of the usernames or are they still ok?

he Gayvengers Assemble   
4:34 am

SpooderMoon: bagel bois 

SpooderMoon: dun dun dun dun

MemeGod: bagel bois 

MemeGod: dun dun dun dun

NotCaptain: bagel bois 

NotCaptain: dun dun dun dun 

SpooderMoon: WITH CREAM CHEESE 

MemeGod: WITH CREAM CHEESE

NotCaptain: WITH CREAM CHEESE

OldMan: so 

OldMan: you guys are up way too late

OldMan: are you going to explain

MemeGod: I am working on something! It is really important! 

OldMan: can't you finish it tomorrow 

MemeGod: I̷̪̟͋͐̉͋̋̈́͜ͅ'̴̧͍̝͈͇̩̂͂l̴̢̼̗̪̟̜̱̲̱̂͛̂̏͘l̴̤̯̘̺͚̮͍̼̭̊̈́ ̴̡̜͎͇̹͖̔͒s̸̡̪͈̤͕̩̟̖͚̓͐̑͆̈͗t̶̼̹̽̉ö̵̢̳̥̗͍̹́͛̓̚͝p̵̣͚͊̂̄̒̄͂̓ͅ ̷̨̡̢̥̬̣̽̀͋̔͛͝͠w̵̢̜̰̏̋͒̃͗̌̿̿̓h̵̛̫̞̼͑̇͒̋̏̈́̄̿̚ė̸̛̳͙͚͖̖͔̳̼̝̯̇͂͘ṇ̶͚̜̎̈̋̔͛̅̚ ̵̡̡̜̥̲̥͖̳͊̄̊̔͊̌͊͝͠͝Į̷͕̰̳̖̉̌̎̚'̷̱̮͕̥͛̈́̈́͛͗̽̆͝͠͝͠m̶̛̙̱̖̘̺̯̦͋̌͗̓̈́́̒̉̇͘͝ ̸̧̪̉̍̔̓̎d̸̯̑̾̽̔̋̑ḛ̷̡̛͚̣̞̦̝̣̟̳̓̏͑̒̌͋͌̾̽̌a̴̡͈̙̹̞̦̒͂̃̔͑̋͌͌̎͜d̸̡̙̞̣̻͚̻̖̞̥̓͆̃̒͜͠

OldMan: what the heck 

NotCaptain: questioning it will only make her stronger...

MemeGod: :)

OldMan: alright...

OldMan: peter, what about you? 

NotCaptain: which one 

SpooderMoon: which one

OldMan: peter p 

SpooderMoon: oh! I can't sleep 

SpooderMoon: so I decided to go on my phone

OldMan: of course...

OldMan: what about other peter

NotCaptain: I'm sleeping at gamoras house but her sister told me to sleep with one eye open so,,,

OldMan: oh boy 

OldMan: don't die, alright

NotCaptain: I'll try 

SpooderMoon: now why are YOU awake 

OldMan: I have my ringer on all the way up

OldMan: so you guys woke me up 

MemeGod: wait why the fuck is your ringer all the way up

OldMan: in case something happens! 

NotCaptain: suit yourself 

NotCaptain: -let's play crazy 8s!- 

SpooderMoon: ok!

MemeGod: sure

OldMan: I have nothing better to do 

SpooderMoon: except go back to sleep?

OldMan: hush   
A  
Few  
Minutes   
Later  
NotCaptain: OH FUCK OFF

MemeGod: HAHAHA SUCK IT 

SpooderMoon: MR STEVE WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS

MemeGod: cuz it's an old persons game duh

SpooderMoon: oh yeah

OldMan: hey 

OldMan: crazy 8s is a traditional game 

NotCaptain: lol sure 

OldMan: Alright well I'm going to try to go back to sleep

NotCaptain: gn

SpooderMoon: gn

MemeGod: gn 

OldMan has gone offline 

NotCaptain: -let's play 8 ball!-  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble   
8:36 am 

Captain: MY BROTHER IS DOING COCAINE 

ImASnaaaake: wh

ImASnaaaake: it's sugar

Captain: COCAINEEE

Shorty: well good morning to you too

SpooderMoon: :0 drugs

MemeGod: CHRIS

MemeGod: IS THAT A WEED

ImASnaaaake: no this is a crayon 

MemeGod: IM CALLING THE POLICE

SpooderMoon: 911 what's your emergency 

HotGuy: MARY

HotGuy: IS THAT A POLICE

HotGuy: IM CALLING THE WEED

RomanovNoodles: 420 what you smoking 

Captain: I do not understand 

SpooderMoon: Mr Thor during lunch I'll show you some iconic vines 

Captain: I would like that! 

NotCaptain: uh hey tony could you keep track of the notes and shit for today 

Shorty: no 

Shorty: why?

NotCaptain: I'm not gonna be at school today 

Shorty: I'll try but sorry Luke can't really do things like that 

NotCaptain: luke?...

Scientace: Percy Jackson or Star Wars

Shorty: Star Wars, doi 

RomanovNoodles: oh 

NotCaptain: that's a stretch

NotCaptain: also I have to visit my mom in the hospital so

SpooderMoon: oh

SpooderMoon: I'm so sorry 

NotCaptain: it's ok 

NotCaptain: I hope

Captain: I'm sure she's going to be ok! 

NotCaptain: yeah I hope so 

Shorty: let us know, ok?

NotCaptain: will do

Scientace: tony and I will get the notes for you

NotCaptain: alrighty thanks 

NotCaptain: I'm gonna go now

HotGuy: good luck!

NotCaptain has gone offline  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble   
11:36 am

TryMeBeyonce: Mr. Thanos is happy today

GreasyGayBoi: oh you noticed it too

TryMeBeyonce: how could you not? He was all smiley and cheerful

ImASnaaaake: right? It was odd 

ImASnaaaake: something about the crusty raisin was off

TryMeBeyonce: yes exactly 

GreasyGayBoi: he's planning something

ImASnaaaake: duh 

ImASnaaaake: he hasn't gotten another stone yet tho

ImASnaaaake: so that's good 

TryMeBeyonce: I've been protecting my stone 

GreasyGayBoi: I don't even like vision but I've been watching him just in case Thanos tries anything 

ImASnaaaake: wait 

ImASnaaaake: when did we become the responsible ones

GreasyGayBoi: wait yeah 

Shorty: you're not responsible 

ImASnaaaake: at least we're doing things 

Shorty: yknow what frosty

Shorty: I'm not even gonna argue with you 

MemeGod: all women are queens

Captain: IF SHE BREATHES SHES A THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

SpooderMoon: AKFJDJDJRKKFKD

SpooderMoon: YES

Captain: what is a thot

MemeGod: oh 

ImASnaaaake: The Hottest Octopus, liTerally

Captain: oh! I understand 

Captain: so it is like a compliment 

ImASnaaaake: yeah

HotGuy: hey if you guys met a genie what would you wish for 

SpooderMoon: for him to remove my colon

MemeGod like this?

SpooderMoon: what the fuck

MemeGod: :)

OldMan: your colon...

OldMan: why

SpooderMoon: because 

OldMan: ok

Shorty: for my father to love me

ImASnaaaake: MOOD

Captain: guys :(

Captain: Loki, father loves you

Captain: Tony, I don't know about your home life so sorry 

RomanovNoodles: SKSKSKSJCHDJ

RomanovNoodles: just

RomanovNoodles: "hey man he might hate you idk"

Captain: you're welcome to stay with us 

ImASnaaaake: you must hide, though

ImASnaaaake: they will find you. 

GreasyGayBoi: sorry?

ImASnaaaake: idk I've been reading creepypasta tutorials 

GreasyGayBoi: cool 

OldMan: what 

ImASnaaaake: nvm 

RomanovNoodles: I'd wish for ramen

TryMeBeyonce: the genie would be a dick and give you a bunch of raw men 

RomanovNoodles: even better 

HotGuy: what 

OldMan: I am beyond confused right now 

Scientace: these are confusing times

MemeGod: y'all completely just missed the bell

Shorty: shit

OldMan: language   
\-----------------------------------  
ARat to: OhShit  
4:45 pm

ARat: what are you gonna do about the wall climbing thing 

OhShit: Yeah here's the thing

OhShit: I can't do it anymore 

OhShit: all the effects are just gone 

ARat: hm

ARat: weird

ARat: are you gonna tell Bruce and Bucky 

OhShit: probably not

OhShit: it doesn't even really seem to be a thing anymore 

OhShit: maybe that's just what happens when I get drunk

ARat: that'd be wack

ARat: but it's an explanation so that's good 

OhShit: if anything else happens I'll let you know

ARat: good

ARat: wanna come over to my lab 

ARat: I'm building something for my brother 

OhShit: hell yeah of course 

ARat: you don't have my address tho

ARat: it's -address- 

OhShit: oh yeah I know that place

OhShit: it's really nice 

OhShit: you live there??

ARat: my family are African royalty, remember that 

OhShit: OH YEAH

OhShit: sorry I forgot

ARat: idiot

ARat: it is fine peter

OhShit: lol should I kneel

ARat: lmao

ARat: I am not Loki

OhShit: sksksksksk that's true

OhShit: alright well I'll be there soon

ARat: ttyl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ROAD TRIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very loosely based off of my trip to Ocala FL

The Gayvengers Assemble   
11:23 am

SpooderMoon: oh my god 

SpooderMoon: I have reached peak dumbass 

Shorty: what did you do 

SpooderMoon: I reached peak dumbass, that's what I did 

Shorty: more detail please 

SpooderMoon: ok so Loki was there when it happened so he's gonna act out what happened with me 

ImASnaaaake: I didn't agree with that 

ImASnaaaake: but ok

Captain: oh no what happened

ImASnaaaake: random girl from peters class: hey there's 21 letters in the alphabet, isn't there?

SpooderMoon: me: no theres 26

ImASnaaaake: random girl: oh yeah I forgot U R A C T

SpooderMoon: me: how do you forget A?!

RomanovNoodles: oh my god 

RomanovNoodles: peter 

MemeGod: you 

MemeGod: are 

MemeGod: a 

NotCaptain: TOY

OldMan: I understood that reference 

Shorty: ugh 

MemeGod: I was gonna say moron but that works too

SpooderMoon: I'm ashamed of myself

SpooderMoon: when I told Ned he pretty much died

Captain: who is Ned? 

MemeGod: the guy in the hair

MemeGod: chair 

HotGuy: sksksksjjd guy in the hair 

MemeGod: oh no it's time for class  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble   
4:34 pm 

Captain: ROAD TRIP

ImASnaaaake: Thor I swear

Shorty: what 

Captain: ROAD TRIP

RomanovNoodles: to where?

Captain: there's a really tiny town a few hours from here called Two Egg

Captain: Loki and I are going 

ImASnaaaake: no I'm not

Captain: you don't have a choice 

SpooderMoon: T W O E G G 

MemeGod: AIDHAJAJA

Captain: EXACTLY 

RomanovNoodles: OMG

RomanovNoodles: ROAD TRIP

Captain: ROAD TRIP

ImASnaaaake: well if you can't beat them...

ImASnaaaake: ROAD TRIP

Captain: YES

Captain: WHO ELSE IS COMING

Shorty: ok 

OldMan: ok 

Captain: good cuz we only have five seats 

RomanovNoodles: I'll be at your house in a few

Captain: alrighty 

Captain: then we will pick up Tony and Steve!

Shorty: cool 

RomanovNoodles: can we get Dr Pepper 

Captain: of course!

Shorty: how far away is this egg place 

Captain: maybe...like...how many men I've dated

ImASnaaaake: oh my god Thor you idiot

ImASnaaaake: it's a four hour drive one way 

Shorty: fun 

RomanovNoodles: good thing I have nothing to do 

Captain: whew ok 

OldMan: alright lets go   
\-----------------------------------  
9:00 pm

Shorty: we've arrived and it's really creepy

TryMeBeyonce: don't die

RomanovNoodles: it's a ghost town 

ImASnaaaake: literally a ghost town 

ImASnaaaake: are we going to die 

ImASnaaaake: "no, of course not!"   
He says like an idiot 

OldMan: there's a motel

OldMan: not a good sign 

ImASnaaaake: a murder motel

ImASnaaaake: a murtel, if you will 

SpooderMoon: no ones gonna die 

Shorty: ffs just take me 

RomanovNoodles: GUYS

RomanovNoodles: we all just heard someone go hello but no one said anything 

ImASnaaaake: literal ghost town 

OldMan: is this your doing

ImASnaaaake: how would I even 

Shorty: we wouldn't put it past you 

ImASnaaaake: meh that's fair 

MemeGod: are there any eggs 

Shorty: we can't see 

ImASnaaaake: there's like a bonfire 

MemeGod: oh god y'all are gonna die 

ImASnaaaake: my brother is a fucking idiot he's driving towards it

ImASnaaaake: we're going to die 

MemeGod: F 

NotCaptain: F 

SpooderMoon: F 

RomanovNoodles: THERES MUSIC PLAYING WTF 

NotCaptain: what kind

OldMan: really creepy music 

Shorty: I hate this I hate this I hate this

ImASnaaaake: AUAUSHHDFJDGGVVGGGGGGGVVVVV FFFFSSSS

SpooderMoon: ARE YOU OK

ImASnaaaake: OUR TIRE JUST FUCKING POPPED I SWEAR IUUUUUUUUGGGFHHH

MemeGod: so let me get this straight 

MemeGod: you five are stranded 

MemeGod: in a ghost town 

MemeGod: at night 

Shorty: yup 

MemeGod: wow 

OldMan: we can stay at the motel

ImASnaaaake: no way in hell 

RomanovNoodles: we might have to 

ImASnaaaake: uuuuuuugggggghhh

ImASnaaaake: why did I agree to this 

RomanovNoodles: you have your knives right 

ImASnaaaake: of course 

RomanovNoodles: be prepared to use them 

Captain: they are overreacting 

Captain: it is strange, though 

Captain: music was playing at the bonfire place but there was no one there :/

Scientace: oh mY GOD

Scientace: GHOSTS

Captain: we are planning to stay at the motel until morning 

TryMeBeyonce: don't die 

GreasyGayBoi: don't die

Scientace: don't die 

HotGuy: don't die 

SpooderMoon: don't die 

Captain: we are going inside now!  
\-----------------------------------  
The Gayvengers Assemble  
11:22 pm 

ImASnaaaake: it's so dirty I hate it 

Captain: you are being overdramatic 

ImASnaaaake: THERE IS BLOOD IN THE BATHROOM

Captain: this is fine :)

RomanovNoodles: it's an adventure, that's for sure 

Shorty: I'm just curled up on my hoodie refusing to touch anything 

OldMan: it's not horrible 

ImASnaaaake: blood in the bathroom 

NotCaptain: I think it's called panic at the disco 

MemeGod: lol like a shitty ripoff band 

MemeGod: Blood! In the bathroom 

ImASnaaaake: I hate this with a passion 

RomanovNoodles: I think I'm gonna sleep in the car 

SpooderMoon: hey peter

NotCaptain: what is it peter 

SpooderMoon: do you still have that car 

NotCaptain: oh shit yeah

NotCaptain: alright guys we're gonna give you a ride 

MemeGod: I'm coming too! 

ImASnaaaake: holy shit thank you 

NotCaptain: alright well we'll see you soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> Peter P-SpooderMoon  
> Tony-Shorty  
> Thor-Captain  
> Natasha-RomanovNoodles  
> Clint-HotGuy  
> Bruce-Scientace  
> Steve-OldMan  
> Bucky-GreasyGayBoi  
> Shuri-MemeGod  
> Peter Q-NotCaptain  
> Loki-ImASnaaaake  
> Strange-TryMeBeyonce
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


End file.
